Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I'm late... sorry....

So I take my laptop to the Oregon Convention Center and find out they charge $400 for 7 days of wireless internet. Should I pay for it? oh HELL no!
So needless to say I'm WAY behind on my posting and I miss Bloggie! So here are the cliff notes:

COMBOVERS: Please tell me that you just cringe when you even read the word. The answer is ALWAYS no when considering a combover. Why am I bringing this up in the "Travel" section of Bloggie? I'm at a conference where there are FAR more combovers per capita than there ever should be. Because I saw them on both sexes here (yes....) here's a semple if/then. If you find you need a combover... Then Men... don't, do the Captain Picard or Stephen Rader. Both are handsome men. Then Women... it's called a wig.

OVERALLS: Conferences are different where ever you go, but it seems that there's a certain amount of professionalism that should be met. If you know me, you know that I think "professional dress" is such the bucket of BS. I can't stand someone thinking wearing a tie makes others think differently of you. However, overalls over a flannel shirt over a thermal underwear top with a baseball cap that used to be yellow but is dingy something now is a bit too casual. Why not come in a bathrobe and slippers?

DUCK WALK GAS: OK, Can't believe I'm writing this one or that I had to experience it to write it. You know you've done it in the privacy of your own home when you were alone or with that special someone who wouldn't hold it against you, but to do this in public even if it's in the bathroom, is unreal. As I'm walking out of the bathroom this man is walking in (the bathroom is full by the way) and as he's walking, he's farting. It's not the continuous blaaaaaaaarp it's the kind that comes out with each step. blarp, blarp, blarp, blarp.

SORE LEGS: Why didn't someone tell me not to get back into running/stairmaster the same day I'm going to stand on a concrete exhibit hall floor for 9 hours? I STILL hurt.

PERK SUCKERS: If you're not in the convention industry, a "Perk Sucker" is one of those people who walk through a trade show only to collect food, give-a-ways, chachkis, etc. They'll try to sneak up to your booth and grab your goodies (and not in a good way) and get away from you without talking. They are the most annoying thing to this exhibitor. I think its so funny to see them coming down the aisle toward you. I snapped this picture today:

I saw her coming down the aisle with this bag in tow. She would look at a booth, then move in, grab and walk away taking only a second to shove whatever she took into her suitcase. Before I started to dog her, I wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaking her for a traveler. Her badge said she's from Portland. PERK SUCKER!
Here's the funny... the booth she's in in the pic makes machines that put that pull away clear plastic wrapper on your microwave dinners. They had some different type of trays on display with fake food in them. She was under the impression that they were real. When the guy she's talking to told her it was fake, she left.
PERK SUCKER!!!

I'm off to LA tomorrow but who knows what the last day will bring. I will try to update. But for now I'm off to enjoy my last dinner in Portland (hello expense account! WOOHOO!)

1 comment:

Lea said...

I am ashamed to say I have been a PERKSUCKER myself. Have mercy; what else are wives/significant others supposed to do when dragged to conventions you don't give a damn about?!?!