Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

As I sit in my office (working vs. not having a job)
and it's 10 degrees with a wind chill of -15 in Chicago (cold vs. cold and home/jobless)
I'm thankful that I have seen the end of another year and I'm able to see the start of a new one.

I bitch, moan and wish for better (don't get me wrong, that ain't gonna stop) but I am not so blind that I don't see what I should be thankful for. It could be worse. It could always be worse. For you to be in a situation where it just couldn't TRULY get worse, you'd be dead.

I look forward to 2009 with high hopes for a continued positive outlook and a more healthy me. I'd come up with a bunch of New Year's resolutions, but I know me, I'll break them before many of you even get back to work to catch up on reading the blog posts you missed while on vacation. So let me sum it up in one New Year's Resolution/Goal.

I want to do my best to find ways to better myself so I am as happy as this little guy!


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Yes, I'm going to hell... I know....

I know one shouldn't apologize for his comedy, but I consider this a forestalling (hopefully) of the possible backlash. Before I get to it, let me say for the record:

1. I adore people with Down's Syndrome. They are one of the very few groups of humans who are unconditionally loving of other humans and strive to make others happy. What follows is not about the girl

2. I may joke about things women do and go through (Cosmo magazine, endless purse searches) but I have never been unfeeling enough or stupid enough to even make light of the fact that once a month you have to... you know....

However, this video was just BEGGING to be seen by the masses for the pure cheesiness of it and the fact that any family would openly talk about this is so absurd that Mickey Mouse may as well make a video about it too since it would be just as likely. I have to give a shout out credit to cb for pointing this out. If you're offended... it's his fault.

(warning... while no body parts are shown, this does show.. detail.. watch at your own peril! and remember... blue, white... blue, white....)

Bring out the Bitch Box....

Yep, pack away that warm fuzzy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa feeling, it's time to bitch about something again. (I can hear Lea from SC giggling already - more on that later)

Another pet peeve....

An escalator is not:
1. an amusement park ride - we did not stand in line just to get on this roller coaster for a fun time
2. a respite option - I know you're a lazy fat ass fucker, but sleep and loiter on your own time.
(by the way, this goes for moving sidewalks too...)

Today I was coming into the Irving Park Blue line station and could hear the train coming. This has happened plenty of times. If I get in the turn style, walk up the escalator (walk, not ride) then I have plenty of time to walk to the train and catch the last car... no problem.

UNLESS... some blankity blank blank lazy blank blank stands on the escalator and (ready?) plops her purse on the rail, pulls out her check book and starts to write a check using the rail as a hard surface! Who the fuck is she going to give a check to at the top of the stairs, or on the train ride that she HAS to write this now?

I stood there, smiling, with one foot on one step and the other on the step above, (the international sign of "I'm climbing the steps but find some hippo has stopped to write a check in front of me so my progress is impeded" which normally, with the accompanying smile, results in the offending hippo moving off to one side so I can slide by being squished like a hot wheel through the turbo crank. But this woman, glances my way, then goes back to her check.
At the top of the stairs, she takes one small step off the escalator and stops so she can shove her shit back in her bag. By the way, there are 2 people behind me and there's no room to get by Gargantua while she repacks her Sherpa bag so we all kind of bump into each other while we're waiting for space.

Finally I say, in my ever so patient voice (giggle on Lea) "Excuse me please" and she turns, without moving, looks at me and then tosses off a statement so full of understanding, empathy and apology it should be written into the annals of societal peacetime. What was this speech that's destined for a Nobel Peace Prize? "Oh, yeah..."

She takes a step aside still cramming into her purse and I'm left to try running for the train only to see it take off without me.

If I could have gotten away with it, I'd have pushed her ass onto the tracks to teach her a lesson. But then it would have derailed a train (since CTA does not employ the cow catchers of the old west) and caused me further delays.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Happy Blogaversary to Me!!!


Today is my 1 year blogaversary! I can't believe it's been a year since this started. I can remember starting this hoping it would be so many things. I don't think it's turned into any of them except a bit therapeutic. But it has been fun and I've met some great people in the blogosphere who've become a fun part of my life. Some day soon I'm going to meet them in person and have a great laugh over drinks.

I looked back to my very first post and tried to remember what was going on then. I was in a not-so-promising work position. Since I left there I've stopped calling it a nightmare job. That name isn't exactly fair as there were good things about the job. 1-it was a job vs. NOT a job. 2- I worked with some fun and great folks. to call it a nightmare job would be incredibly mean to those folks so the position wasn't very promising, but the overall job wasn't so bad because I knew there was a good laugh or more waiting each day.

Miss Teen South Carolina was in the news for her stupidity and it looked like George Bush couldn't do much worse with HIS stupidity. Good news was that Miss SC faded... Bad news was the George actually COULD do worse with his stupidity.

Now flash forward a year. I landed a new job. It's a small association which brings its own challenges, but it also has its rewards. I have so much fun with my coworkers. The members/attendees are a hoot and even though I enjoyed my time at Pediatrics, the members were not all as welcoming as this group. The job has taken me to the Caribbean for the first time and has promise for new opportunities (once this economy turns around)

Not to get too political, but BushyButt is on his way out and Barack is on his way in. 'nuff said.

All in all, this has been a good year. It has FLOWN by, but it has been good. Looks like 2009 will be even better! There's always a challenge here or there, but since December 28, 2007, it really feels like I'm in a better position to meet those challenges.

To everyone who helped make 2008 a great year, thanks!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Six Random....

It's crazy time before the holidays and work, as always, is pulling my attention. Therefore, I'm a bit lost for ideas for blogging and I'm also tired of complaining about the weather (balmy -4 degrees as I type this)

Stephen, over at Are You There Blog..., was tagged for a Meme which required him to pass the tag on to someone else. Stephen doesn't like to burden others so asked for volunteers. Always willing to help a brother out when I can.. here I go.

The rules are: 1. Link to the person who tagged you. 2. Post the rules on your blog.
 3. Write six random things about yourself.
 4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. 
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
 6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I love pesto.... I think, though I've never tried it, that Pesto could even go with Peanut Butter. An old college roommate's father worked for a food company and would send food sample packages to us. We once got a gallon container of Pesto and the ease of heating up noodles and tossing some pesto into the mix was so easy I think I made that bad boy last for 6 months!

2. I used to buy pants that were too long for me just because
I've always been tall and when I was growing up if I had pants that fit length-wise, they didn't for long because I'd outgrow them. I was always either in, or not far from, a point of living in high waters. Once my beloved Eddie Bauer started making everything in tall sizes, I was saved and would often order something a bit longer just because it made me feel a bit more normal.

3. Like Stephen, I too talk to myself.. A lot! It does come from living alone and often times hearing something out loud makes a difference from hearing it in your head. Often times it's just to hear a voice in the apartment that's not from the TV. Sometimes, however, that inner voice comes out in public and in front of others that may not understand. My filter has been someone damaged because of my work with the Deaf. They don't care that I verbalize to myself (read into that that they may not KNOW I verbalize to myself, although some have noticed it and just smiled).

4. My Christmas spirit was seriously handicapped when I worked for Disney the day after Thanksgiving. Years ago I worked for Disney stores. I enjoyed the job and learned tons about customer service and the giant machine that is Disney Marketing. It was all fine and good until I worked on that fateful Friday of Fridays, the day after Thanksgiving. I know it doesn't make sense to your wallet to hear a speech about quality, but it's true, Disney stuff is good stuff and the price point is higher PARTIALLY due to that. (the other part is the Mouse is a greedy MoFo and plans to make money regardless) However, I was so entirely over John Q. Redneck saying "Well I can get this at Wal-Mart for $4!" I was quite close to saying "Then take your trailer park cheap ass to Wal-Mart and help yourself!"

5. Pop-Tarts are like Crack Cocaine. If I buy a box, there's a chance that that box may not last 24 hours in my home. If it's possible, they could be more addictive than chocolate or Crystal Meth. The only time Pop-Tarts ever lasted a respectable time in my home was once when Lea from SC came to visit (another PTJunkie) and she bought some off the wall flavor God never intended like Butterscotch Smores with Beet Juice. I never tasted them as the title sounded repulsive enough and there were a couple after Lea left. I think I finally threw them out.

6. I sang back up for Barry Manilow. OK, I'll admit, I have NO clue as to why I decided to pull out this factoid today. But it's as random as it sounds. Back in the late 90's when I was in school again I was in the university choir. Barry was making his rounds of the country and would have a local college choir come back him up on the last two songs of the concert. It was a lot of fun actually and Barry... well, he's had some SERIOUS work done. He and Joan Rivers could have a staple locale contest to see who's knee jerks when you pinch the ear.

And that's my Six Random things! I'll tag a few people without listing them here to allow them to pass should they choose.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Sanctity of Marriage....

There are couples in this country who've been together for 20+ years, but they can't get legally married because they're the same gender.

These couples could be barred from:
- visiting their partner who may be dying in the Emergency Room
- keeping the home they've lived in for years because it was in their partner's name
- lose custody of a child that they've raised because the child was biologically their partners

BUT.... in this same country this waste of Oxygen shitheap of a man, Drew Peterson, is engaged to ANOTHER woman while his current and still legal wife (wife #2) is still missing and the death of wife #1 is still under investigation as he may have murdered her!

Hey George W. Bush.... I'm SOOOO glad you and your cronies are working so hard to protect the family and the sanctity of marriage.


To this stupid girl I can only say...

Are you fucking nuts?

First - He's old enough to be your father
Second - He looks old enough to be your grandfather!
Third - (and the number 3 is key here) Do you really want to go down that road of Mrs. Drew Peterson III?

If you're that fucking stupid, go ahead. Please! DO marry him. I've always been an advocate of thinning out the herd and killing off the stupid ones and Darwin Award Winners... Maybe Drew can provide us this one service. Otherwise this man should be forbidden to marry again. Someone should Proposition 8 HIS ass!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Snow? Big surprise.... & 12 on 12 (v4) December

I've been traveling and playing catch up with work blogging has been hard as my creative juices are tired and don't want to play. Playing catch up with work so let me play catch up with you folks:

If you live in the Midwest or love watching The Weather Channel, you know what came for a visit yesterday. This was what met me on my commute home.

I know it doesn't seem much, and in the end it wasn't that deep, but the worst of it hit just as rush hour started so you know that immediately translates into Clusterf**k and a long ass commute home. At least it wasn't an ice storm with up to an inch of ice... wait, that's this coming Friday.

One post I wanted to do over the weekend was to bring back the 12 on 12 project that I haven't done since... jeez, August! So here's December's edition! (pardon this version... it's actually 10 on 12) I was in Seattle on site at a conference:

This hotel was VERY wired for technology. The TV and phone system were all Internet based. This morning for some reason the TV came on by itself before my alarm went off. It was playing good jazzy world music, but it was on a channel that played the music and had a slide show of dog pics.

I step out of my room and there's a Wall Street Journal at my neighbors door. Waking up to see my homestate's governor on the front page of the WSJ usually can't be a good thing

My registration desk at my conference. AKA My little corner of the world to sit and wait for something to go wrong.

After the attendees have had breakfast and are in session, I head out for my own caffeine supply. I'm not a coffee drinker so a Diet Pepsi does me well. Too bad the hotel is a Coke property so I have to head down to the drug store to get my fix.

Coming back to the hotel. Notice that heck of an incline??

Me blogging at the desk. In conference world if you're bored on site, that means the conference is going well.

I am also re-reading a great book. Sarum by Edward Rutherford takes the history of England from the ice age until WWII and weaves fictitious characters to help tell the tell. (kind of like Titanic... there wasn't really a Jack and Rose, but the ship was there and it did sink) He's written several books like this that are great reads.

OH boy... the hotel certainly knew who was coming to their hotel. This afternoon's snack break had cookies and cupcakes. Two words... RED VELVET! It was pretty good! It wasn't like the ones my faux-wife made me for my birthday, but it was a nice effort.

After the conference was over I went out to look around. There's a Seneca Street! (Seneca is the town in South Carolina that I grew up in.... GO BOBCATS!)

Seattle's great market with a little bit of everything!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I never cared much for Sean Penn....

When I was in high school and Fast Times at Ridgemont High came out, it was the good ole boy laugh movie. All the ass hats that I disliked in high school loved this movie so I naturally disliked it. I wasn't a burn out in high school so didn't relate.

Then he hooked up with Madonna and became the bad boy of paparazzi throw downs. No one likes a star that's too uppity for their own good.

Then came Shanghai Surprise... were we surprised? no, not so much.

And while he did an OK job in that movie where his daughter is killed and his childhood friends are either accused of the murder or investigating it, he was still not on my list of actors that I liked.

Until now....
I won't go on and on with a litany of what he did in the movie, but I'll sum it up with one of the best compliments I can give an actor; he made me forget that he was Sean Penn. He WAS Harvey Milk. Obviously I never knew Harvey Milk, but I've read about him, I know his story, I saw the documentary on Harvey Milk and heard his voice on a recording he made when he felt his life was ultimately in danger. If you don't know the story of Harvey Milk or even if you do, go see this movie.

So often the term "Oscar worthy" is tossed around too easily as a marketing tool. While I would love to see Sean win an award for his portrayal, the cynical side of me feels the subject matter will be a barrier. If it makes a difference to Sean, he's won an award with me. He took me into Harvey Milk's life in a very believable way and he's also on my "Like" list now. (which, let's face it, EVERY Hollywood actor is dying to be on!)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I'm remiss... so let me catch up....

I've been prepping for a conference and now am on site so I've been out of communication since the Palin-of-Nine blog below.

I'm in Seattle, a town I love and haven't had the chance to come to in about 4 years. I'd forgotten about one aspect.... the hills...
I'm standing on 1st Avenue looking up at the tallest building you see in the distance and that's where I have to climb to for the Kinko's. It's too early in the morning for me to mountain climb!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy walking and hiking, but Chicago doesn't have hills. I walk everywhere in Chicago, but that's because there are no hills! I'd adapt if I lived in Seattle, and I could easily live in Seattle, but we'd have to do something about these hills.

It did dawn on me that ll the times I'd been to Seattle before with conferences, I was on 6th Avenue which seems to be the top of the hill. Obviously I didn't realize that I'd found the only upscale boutique hotel at the bottom of the hill. Also, leave it to me to find the only upscale boutique hotel in Seattle that's next door to a sex toy shop. I peeked through the windows (from outside....) and it looks like a nice sex toy shop as sex toy shops go I would guess, having NEVER been in one myself. ahem....

But Seattle is a great town and and it's obviously Christmas season here too. The hotel I'm in is decorated very nicely and has fake bubble type snow (something you have to see yourself) at the entrance. I flew out here on Saturday morning as it was snowing in Chicago. I was up so early that by the time I arrived in Seattle I was so exhausted, all I wanted to do was sleep. When we arrived at my hotel I looked out the window and said "Dammit.. it's snowing here too!" too sleepy and slow to realize that at 48 degrees, it would be hard to be snowing where I was. And, the snow was bubbly. Things are different on the west coast, but not that different.

In the spirit of the holidays, I'll leave you with a cute survey that I found over on Stephen "Wicked Hater" Rader's Blog.

You Are Prancer

You are the perfect reindeer, with perfect hooves and perfect flying form.

Why You're Naughty: Because you're Santa's pet, and you won't let anyone show you up.

Why You're Nice: You have the softest fur and the sweetest carrot breath.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

A'ight Palin... you brought this on yourself!

The election is over (thank God)

We haven't seen hide nor hair of Palin except her pardoning one turkey while 12 others had their heads butchered off in camera range.
But I just ran across something at Deep South Mark's page that I had to say is the most offensive Palin connection to date.

Someone was connecting this year's elections to the Star Trek universe and came up with this....

How completely mean and unfair to Seven of Nine and the Borg civilization! I'm sure Jeri Ryan is crying in the corner at this comparison!

Even when Seven of Nine was a Borg, she was never as heartless and uncaring for other beings as Palin continues to be. Besides, even on their worst day no Borg could contemplate being as stupid as Palin.

OK, Rant over.... Come on Jeri, we'll get some ice cream and go assimilate some rednecks.

For that not-so-fresh feeling...

This ad was over at More Cool Pictures in a series of old ad sheets. What were they thinking???

Lysol.... LYSOL! That stuff burns my nose when I spray it in the bathroom. I can't imagine what it would feel like being poured on your hoochie.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Time flies when you're... asleep!

I really didn't think I would be so completely unplugged from everything last week while I was on vacation, but I was! I saw friends, went out to dinner a couple of times, watched a number of movies on TV and, of course, slept. I did a few things around the house, but that was only because my back was getting sore from laying around so much! Sometimes you just have to have a period of lazy slothfulness to make you appreciate the activities of regular life.

I did think I'd blog here or there while I was out, but seems I didn't make it into the blogosphere at all since my last post was a week ago. That means I have a lot of reading to catch up on with my fave blogs! I missed this past week's TMI Tuesday, but I would like to answer it later this week because the questions seemed fun. But can't now.. have to continue catching up on emails from while I was out. I've been at it for 2 hours now and I'm still on last Monday....