Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Random Thoughts for Wednesday


It's Ash Wednesday. Time to spot the good(ish) Catholics. While I'm not Catholic, I do give up something(s) for Lent. They say you shouldn't give up things that meet a selfish need, and I can see where they're coming from, but usually what you would give up for that selfish need is something that's hard to give up. In the past I've given up a few things that, while may have been to help me meet a personal goal, it truly was a test of my will to give it up in this symbolic time. Such trials included giving up:
- Chocolate - the first year I ever got carrot cake for my birthday
- Emotional outbursts (yeah... that was a LOOONG ass 40 days)
- McDonald's - not so hard now, but back in SC where I had a car... torture!

But this year I'm giving up something physical (something you can touch) and something non-physical (something you can't touch) Chocolate (again) and excuses to get up and work out. You can see the "selfish need" in there and how I may be using Lent as a means to do what my will power usually cannot. But that's me and how I roll.

From my heaviest weight of 350 I've lost over 100 pounds. People ask me how I did it and if I think they can handle the answer (aka, won't tag me as a psycho) I'll tell, but I may preface it with "but this isn't for you". How did I? Shame. Guilt. When I was going to eat this bad thing, or laze away that day, I'd remind myself what I looked like and blah blah blah... getting away from the point of the Lent post. What I'm getting at is, if I'm doing alone with only my internal voice to keep me back, it may or may not work. But if my internal voice has Lent and God behind it scratching his index fingers at me like he's starting a fire... then you can bet chocolate won't pass these lips and I'll be pulling myself out of bed early (like today) for at least the next 40 days. :)

An Idle Mind
Anyone who knows me well can testify that my train of thought is usually surrounded by those little switches that will change tracks repeatedly. Not to say I can't concentrate, but it's like playing 6 degrees of separation with thought topics. We're talking about Lent, and in just a few track changes I'll come up with the time I was nearly charged by a rutting moose in Banff, Canada.
Anyway, if I'm on my morning commute, I'm usually nose deep in a book and don't notice what's going on around me. If for some reason I didn't notice that I was nearly done with a book (which can happen when a book has like 50 blank white pages at the back... what's up with that? Call Al Gore!) I'll spend part of the commute with nothing to do but look out blankly at the scenery passing and having the train of thought express jumping tracks left and right.

Have you ever seen that Robert Downey, Jr. movie Heart and Souls? (told you... keep up with me)
If you haven't, you should. It's a cute movie and I love Alfre Woodard. The premise is that 4 people. (Alfre Woodard, Kyra Sedgewick, Charles Grodin, and Tom Sizemore) are killed in a bus wreck before their time. Their souls are "attached" to a newborn child who's born at the same time they die. They're attached to him so that they can use him in completing what would have made their life complete had they not died. Unfortunately they didn't get the memo from Heaven about this reason so they exist in a 10 foot radius around this child as he grows up. Soon they realize that they're being there is causing the kid to look bonkers to his parents and society and decide to disappear on him (as childhood imaginary friends are wont to do). The kid grows up into an ass played by Robert Downey, Jr., the ghosts get wind of what they're supposed to do and the hilarity ensues. Good movie, available at Netflix, go get it.
Anyway, all of this to say... during these times where I'm sitting on the bus with nothing to do, sometimes this movie pops in my head and as I look around I wonder if I'd get along with my fellow bus riders if the same were to happen to us. This morning, since I was so early, there were only a small handful of people on the bus with me. Everyone seemed perfectly normal... except for one guy. He just had that look that makes you say... freakshow. Anyway, once he got off the bus I thought "OK, we can wreck now... he's not a concern for post-death-10 ft radius existence"

Work & Obama
I'm really tired of this economy. Who isn't? I watched the Obama speech in it's entirety last night. While I've worked for political causes before, I've never considered myself a political person. Last night was the first presidential speech I've EVER watched. For the past eight years I just couldn't stand listening to the man's voice much less what utter bullshit (or udder bullshit hee hee) he was spewing. In one speech, however, the eloquence and presence of Obama outshone the idiocy of the last 8 years.

What I want now is a bail out plan for conferences and my contracts that were signed during better times that I'm having to shuck-n-jive my way through negotiations on because I know my government employee members/attendees will not be able to attend.

"We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before.
WOOHOO! That's GREAT! Now, can we do that by the end of March so my big conference in April won't tank?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Oh yeah...

A big old "I told you so!"

See my posting about this back in December

Sean Penn kicked some serious booty!

My thoughts on the other Best Actor noms:

Richard Jenkins: The Visitor
I watched this movie on Sunday. It is actually a great movie. But he mostly just stands there looking lost. I can do that! I'm doing it now... see? Then he yells at a correctional officer at a detainee site while the officer looks at him like he's mentally cataloging his Tupac Shakur collection. I can do that on a CTA platform. I like Richard Jenkins, but this was not an Oscar worthy performance.

Frank Langella: FROST/NIXON
I haven't seen this movie, but based on the previews, I think he may have done quite a good job. I like Frank after seeing him in the movie Dave. He played a bad guy, but he did it well.

Brad Pitt: Blah Blah Blah Benjamin Button
WhatEVER! I loved that Hugh Jackman made a joke that he was contractually obligated to mention Brad & Angie (aka, the babymakers) 5 times during the broadcast. Sorry Brad, you're a handsome man but the sun does not rise and set on your ass.

Mickey Rourke: The Wrestler
Who? What? All I saw was some silver tooth and Marisa Tomei sitting very uncomfortably beside it. Your 15 minutes was up 15 years ago.

Old Habits Die Hard!

I've read before that your musical tastes in life are largely influenced by your high school and college years. If that is the case, I'm stuck with 80's music forever since I began my high school in fall of '80 and finished my first round of college in '89.
Since so many memories are tied to music and my music realm is the 80's, I guess it's only natural that many 80's music memories come back to my best friend from high school Lea in SC.
This memory connection is so strong that I can send her an email with a fraction of a lyric and she'll write back with the exact memory. Sometimes that connection can have an unwanted effect, but that's a story best told in person.

With that memory connection came today's little 80's "reflex" (pun-intended). Below is the email I sent to Lea in SC right after my little knee jerk reaction and the laughing fit at myself the followed:

The Reflex just came on my iPod list and I'm working away on a schedule spreadsheet and even though I'm typing away, after the music bridge where Simon comes back in singing "Why yi yi yi yi yi don't you use it" with the accented percussion and my right hand flies off the keyboard, up in the air, grabbing my imaginary drum stick and hits the imaginary drum (that's oddly suspended at head level to my right) with each accented "yi". do you still do that even subconsciously??

For those of you who have eschewed the 80's or dislike Duran Duran for whatever reason (hair, bubblegum pop, etc) the video for this song is below and the point in question is around 3min31sec in the video. I have a feeling, however, that many of you know what I'm talking about. Admit it....

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Because I can!

It's my birthday and I don't want to think too seriously on anything so....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

now a word from our sponsor

I'm going to be offline for a bit. I'll be back. Thanks for the laughs and giggles!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Feisty Friday!

So given today is Friday the 13th and a day that I've been dreading all week because of work reasons, I kept thinking I shouldn't do Feisty Friday because I don't want to piss off the Karma Planners. But then I thought they MUST have their hands full planning the comeuppance of George Bush and maybe they'll miss me being Mean-n-Feisty and I'll make it through the last 4 hours of my work day relatively safe.


Stereotypes can be unfair. But stereotypes have their beginnings in some form of truth.

If I start dancing to a song with a beat, I'll be the first to say "Watch out! White Boy Dancing!"

So it came as no surprise that this little news clip brought two stereotypes together:

SEOUL (AFP) – A dogged South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying.

The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the southwestern city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time.

"It was a record-breaking number here," Choi Yong-Cheol, a police sergeant supervising the test in the city's Deokjingu district, told AFP.

"I wonder if she will try it again for a 772nd time."

The Korea Times said Cha will in fact be back for another attempt.

Choi said that Cha cannot pass the preliminary written section of the test, averaging scores of 30-50 whereas the pass mark is 60 out of 100.

Local media said that Cha sells food and household items door to door at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart, but wants to get a car for her business.

Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses.

"I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a commemorative tablet myself and give it to her," one officer was quoted as saying"

She's old


she's Asian.

Of COURSE she's going to fail her driving test!

(Disclaimer.... yes, I know, it's mean. But it's a joke. There are plenty of elderly and Asian drivers who far surpass my own driving skills. But hey, there are also white guys who can dance so as long as I'm being made fun of for looking like a bleached out Carlton, then dammit, you're gonna get targeted too!)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It's hump day

I got nothin'

So i'll just leave you with this.....

I would have put that on the cat just for the fun of it and giggled my ass off...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My dream job....

When asked what my dream job would be I could think of tons of answers, but my immediate answer is Travel Writer. It's no wonder, then, that I fell in love with Bill Bryson's books immediately. My first foray into Bill's world was with In a Sunburned Country about Australia. It wasn't until a few years later that I had the pleasure of listening to one of his books on CD. If you think his writing is funny, you should hear him read it in that almost deadpan voice of his. After hearing him read a book of his, you always hear his voice in the future.

Given that I hear his voice when reading his print, it's no wonder that I laughed out loud on the bus this morning when I read the following passage from Neither Here Nor There about his trips around Europe. He's found himself on a long transatlantic flight (back then it was hours and hours long) sitting next to a person who reminds me so much of where I grew up:

He spent most of the flight reading Holy Scripture, moving both sets of fingertips across each line of text as he read and voicing the words just loud enough for me to hear them as a fervent whisper in my right ear. I feared the worst. I don't know why religious zealots have this compulsion to try to convert everyone who passes before them - I don't go around trying to make them into St. Louis Cardinals fans, for crying out loud - and yet, they never fail to try.
Nowadays, when accosted I explain to them that anyone wearing white socks and Hush Puppies and a badge saying Hi! I'm Gus! probably couldn't talk me into getting out of a burning car, much less into making a lifelong commitment to a deity, and I ask them to send someone with a better dress sense next time. But back then I was too meek to do anything but listen politely and utter noncommittal "Hmmms" to their suggestions that Jesus could turn my life around. Somewhere over the Atlantic, as I was sitting taking stock of my two hundred cubic centimeters of person space, as one does on a long plane flight, I spied a coin under the seat in front of me, and with protracted difficulty leaned forward and snagged it. When I sat up, I saw my seatmate was at last looking at me with that ominous glow.
"Have you found Jesus?" he asked suddenly
"Uh, no, it's a quarter," I answered and quickly settled down and pretended for the next six hours to be asleep, ignoring his whispered entreaties to let Christ build a bunkhouse in my heart

If you've not read Bill Bryson, go get it. Just when you think you couldn't giggle at something, he'll show you how to.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Could resist this....

M'eh Monday

Monday's are usually a big blah. Everyone is getting over the weekend and can't get up and at 'em since sleeping late felt so good on Saturday & Sunday.

This weekend was great weather in Chicago. 90% of the snow is gone which is great, but the downside to that yearly experience came to visit again. If you don't live in a city, you may not know what "Curbing your Dog" means. Gross as it may sound to you, we do have to pick up after our dogs when they do the poopy-do. It seems there are a lot of Lincoln Park Trixie's who walk their dogs and when the snow is deep, seem to think that they don't have to pick up after. While the snow (or packed ice) is there, the secret of the Trixie's is safe. But then a nice weekend like this past one comes along and these little left behind prezzies come out for all of us to step on/in or hopscotch over.

I say this every year, and I'll keep saying it:


see you not curbing your dog, I will pick up your dog's doo-doo and either smear it on your faux-but-fugly coat or if I'm too far away, I will chuck it at you and giggle my ass off.

No, the Mystery of the Trixie Poop Treasure is not really related to my M'eh Monday, but it was one of two things on my mind and the other is not ready to be published.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Fiesty Friday

Today's Topic

Chrysler's PT Cruiser

This is the automotive bane of my existence. They came out when I lived in South Carolina so I'm sure that is where my initial impression of them came from. What is that impression?

Trailer park rednecks
Why? Because this is how the first one appeared to me

A new car... in the 90's.... and we go with wood paneling? Hello?!? Mike Brady wants his car back.

If you have one of these cars, more power to you. But I can't stand them. They're one step above this one in looks
(and she's workin' that fur while admiring her new 1975 car)

And as if the PT Cruiser weren't ugly enough, you KNOW that people with far too much perceived disposable income and no taste for what is necessary will start making modifications and sending out the following subliminal messages:

"I've got a small penis, but maybe from up here you can't tell"

"Poor White Trash kids go to Proms too!"

"Yes I've got a green card!"

"I'm short and can't afford a DeLorean but my vanity plate is 'SHRTMNCMPLX'"

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I knew him when.....

I love having creative friends. I TRULY love having creative friends that are rising in popularity and getting their creativity noticed. It is so fun watching their dreams come true!

One such friend is Matthew Lew. We met when he volunteered
his time and artwork as a live performance for an HRC gala dinner I produced years ago. At the time his work was heavy in blues, which I love, so I liked his work right away.

Since then his art and designs have captured the eye of the public. His work has been highlighted on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and he's also had his work produced for CB2!

Matt is one of those people who never seems to be without a smile and his friendliness shows through the flow of his work (IMHO).

That's not to say that Matt doesn't have a fun sense of humor as he can show it through his work as well! The piece below that prompted this bloghomage is a piece he has done specifically for the silent auction at the Equality Illinois Gala Dinner. If you know Joan and you've seen "Mommy Dearest" (or been to Sidetrack on show tune night) you know this piece and you know you WANT this piece!

Good Luck Matt! And don't forget the little people!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

...and no, I will not be purchasing this.....

But the fanboy in me thinks it's funny what companies WILL make!

MaleSib (my brother) sent me this news clip:

GenkiWear, LLC is developing a trio of fragrances celebrating classic Star Trek. "Tiberius," "Pon Farr" and

"Red Shirt" fragrances will be available in stores in the spring.

His musing was "If you wear "Red Shirt" does that mean you get killed in the first 15 minutes? After a laugh over that he wondered why they didn't have one and just name it "Kirk" to which I said

"They do, it's just called Old Spice."

They kind of are playing on the popularity of Kirk in the series though since "Tiberius" is the character's middle name. I would imagine they're trying to market the fragrance more along the lines of this Kirk

rather than this one:

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009

I want to hit something, I want to hit it HARD!

I'm so mad I don't know what to do!

No one has died, but because I am so mad I want to hit something, I can't help but think of this clip. So since I needed something to laugh at, here's a great scene.

I would love to have a TShirt that says "I slapped Weezer Budreau" Don't know if I'd give my eye teeth for it, but it would be funny!

PS. Why I'm mad isn't important, don't worry. Life's like that. It is what it is.

Non-Superbowl Post

Seems that today is about last night. But not here.
I was tagged for this Meme on Facebook and it turned out funny (to me anyway) and I thought I'd share. I won't forward tag anyone on this in the blogosphere, but if you do it, even for fun, let me know the results.

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie about the songs (they can be funny if you just leave them)
7. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

1. What's my mood like right now?
Love Shack – B52’s

2. How's tomorrow going to be for me?
Hung Up - Madonna

3. What kind of person am I?
Jump – Madonna

4. Am I loved?
Wonder – Natalie Merchant

5. How can I achieve my highest potential?
Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

6. What should I do with my life?
Beggarman – Gaelic Storm

7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end?
All You Wanted – Michelle Branch

8. What is my best quality?
Breathe – Michelle Branch

9. How does my social life look?
Gay Boyfriend - Hazzards

10. What's the meaning of life?
Just Between You & Me – dc Talk

11. What do people think of me?
Johnny Tarr – Gaelic Storm

12. How crazy am I
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs – Fall Out Boy

13. Where will I be a year from now?
Can’t Fight the Moonlight

14. What is my fondest wish?
Little Goodbyes - SheDaisy

15. How did my best friend and I meet?
I Heard a Rumour - Bananarama

16. What will I dream about tonight?
All For You – Sister Hazel

17. What should I be working on right now?
Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

18. What's my mom up to currently?
Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Deep Blue Something (I like that one!)

19. What did I do last weekend?
Thank U – Alanis Morrissette

20. Describe me.
An Poc Ar Bulle – Gaelic Storm

21. What does my IPod say about me?
In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel