OK, why do we all watch the Superbowl? For the football?
HELLL NO!
It's the COMMERCIALS!
For the first time I'm really looking forward to seeing one make the airwaves and I'm here to offer a spoiler (my first!) of a commercial by Pepsi.
Oh, special hint... there's no sound, you don't need to adjust your speakers and it's OK to watch at work.
This is, from what I understand, a long running joke in the Deaf community that has become a commercial for the Superbowl and from all signs, is already paying off for Pepsi before it even airs. MSNBC has talked about it, and just Google "PepsiCo Enable" and see how many posts are already out there about it.
You Go Pepsi! (That's Diet for me thanks, I'm watching my figure)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
1 + 1 = Potato!
PLUS
EQUALS
AND YOU HAVE COUCH POTATO SATURDAY!
Back in the day when I had the job I wanted, I traveled a lot. Conferences here, special events there and once in a while, even though I loved the travel and nearly constant motion, once in a while I reveled in a Couch Potato Saturday where I popped in movie after movie and only left the couch to change the movie, get a bite to eat and go to the potty palace.
These days the constant motion is gone, movies have been nearly replaced by TiVo and Satellite TV. I can lessen my time off the couch since the remote does the searching and changing for me.
Sometimes the entertainement comes from looking at the list of shows/movies that TiVo has recorded for me. For those of you who don't know, TiVo not only records the shows you ask it to, but it tries to learn your likes and dislikes by the shows you record or if you give shows thumbs up or thumbs down. You can also list key words or actors or topics and TiVo searches for shows that fit the bill.
Sometimes, however, I'll be looking through the list of shows and I stare in amazement at my TiVo asking incredulously "Do you know me? Have you ever MET me?" I get up pretty early for work and often as I walk through the den to the kitchen I see the red recording light on. Recording something at 4:30am can be scary to be sure.
Once I started seeing that TiVo was recording all these home improvement shows. "This Old House" "Design on a Dime" etc. I don't tend to watch anything remotely like this and couldn't figure out where they were coming from. I commented to a friend about it and he said "Chris.. your TiVo can see into your apartment... maybe it's trying to tell you something" So now I have a SASSY TiVo. I'm surprised he didn't start taping Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, but then again he can't see into my closet and only my Den. Maybe that's why he taped "Atlantic City Hookers: It Ain't E-Z Being a Ho" I'm not kidding. Oh well, I can rest easy. I'm not a Ho.... I don't charge.
BUT I digress. I think Couch Potato Saturdays are fantastic. So far I've:
1. Had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch/Corn Pops mixed (in for a penny...)
2. Watched 3 episodes of Law & Order (the original)
3. Watched The Devil Wears Prada (funny how close to home that can be)
4. Finished off the tuna casserole
5. Giggled about TiVo taping the Ho sho.
6. Watched Connie & Carla (my friend Alec Mapa is a HOOT!)
7. Decided I was behind on posting then came on to give you this wonderful missive.
8. Decided what show to watch next after I hit "Publish Post"
(It's X-Men: The Last Stand I think.... I'm going to have to pass on the Ho Sho)
Until next time!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
LA's not proving too much for this man
(Did anyone get the Gladys Knight reference? Shout out to my mom!)
Wild Wonderful Los Angeles. One thing that's constant in LA is traffic. I'm sure that part of that perception is that I don't drive (much) in Chicago and the El just sort of bypasses all that. Still, LA is a great town and there's so much people watching to do!
I did get to do some touristy stuff. I went to LA's "Fashion District" I'm sure there's some fashion in LA somewhere but where we went was different. In Harry Potter terms this would be called Knockoff Alley. Cheap crap at low low prices and more Mexican music than you can shake a stick at! There were waist down mannequins showing off many styles of jeans. The most noticeable thing about these were... well, how would one put it... mannequin got back! I never knew they made mannequins with a larger butt. Now I'm not talking plus size where they're large all over, this was skinny legs and an ass that protruded much like a shelf! I guess I can't complain. Proprietor know thy market eh?
My LA host with the most Kevin did a fantastic job of showing me the sights. Even though he had to work on Friday, he was kind enough to let me use his car, a BMW Z4 convertible. (Made in South Carolina thank you very much!) So Mr Don't-own-a-car is tooling around SoCal with the top down.
I did get a few looks from the SoCal natives to whom the 50 degree temp was frigid enough for them to wear their parkas.
I went to a VERY cool museum The J. Paul Getty Museum or "The Getty". While they had some very nice artwork (van Gogh's "Irises" resides here) and fixtures, I have to say I was far more taken by the grounds and architecture. I couldn't even begin to describe it as there are far too many feels, looks, textures to begin to formulate a brief description that would do it justice. This is one of the gardens that's surrounded by water and water paths/falls so that each step gives you a different view and sound of the water which culminates in the pool garden behind me.
I did find proof though that in California, everything is considered beautiful... even the mundane.
Wild Wonderful Los Angeles. One thing that's constant in LA is traffic. I'm sure that part of that perception is that I don't drive (much) in Chicago and the El just sort of bypasses all that. Still, LA is a great town and there's so much people watching to do!
I did get to do some touristy stuff. I went to LA's "Fashion District" I'm sure there's some fashion in LA somewhere but where we went was different. In Harry Potter terms this would be called Knockoff Alley. Cheap crap at low low prices and more Mexican music than you can shake a stick at! There were waist down mannequins showing off many styles of jeans. The most noticeable thing about these were... well, how would one put it... mannequin got back! I never knew they made mannequins with a larger butt. Now I'm not talking plus size where they're large all over, this was skinny legs and an ass that protruded much like a shelf! I guess I can't complain. Proprietor know thy market eh?
My LA host with the most Kevin did a fantastic job of showing me the sights. Even though he had to work on Friday, he was kind enough to let me use his car, a BMW Z4 convertible. (Made in South Carolina thank you very much!) So Mr Don't-own-a-car is tooling around SoCal with the top down.
I did get a few looks from the SoCal natives to whom the 50 degree temp was frigid enough for them to wear their parkas.
I went to a VERY cool museum The J. Paul Getty Museum or "The Getty". While they had some very nice artwork (van Gogh's "Irises" resides here) and fixtures, I have to say I was far more taken by the grounds and architecture. I couldn't even begin to describe it as there are far too many feels, looks, textures to begin to formulate a brief description that would do it justice. This is one of the gardens that's surrounded by water and water paths/falls so that each step gives you a different view and sound of the water which culminates in the pool garden behind me.
I did find proof though that in California, everything is considered beautiful... even the mundane.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Leavin' for LA
So I had 5 hours to kill at the Portland airport. I snoozed a little, but I caught up on some posts. Read all the way through, there are a few!
See ya soon Bloggie!
See ya soon Bloggie!
I can't stand it... sorry
This site is just TOOO good. I can't quite tell if the folks at Ship of Fools are faithful people just wishing they weren't deemed quacks because of their zealoutous brethren, or they're like me, finally out from under the quackery and can finally poke fun. Here are some signs for your enjoyment.
Why are they picking on Harry? Seems the Christians would be up in arms against Voldemort... he's the real baddy and I hear he steals from the offering plate.
Does this statue give you the creeps? All I can hear is "TOUCHDOWN!"
What do we want? - TD!
From who? - Jesus!
Tell me some born again jock hasn't kicked the pigskin between those uprights!
Jesus founded a university in North Carolina... who knew? I wonder what their mascot is? Go Disciples! Convert those Tigers!
This one's funny... at least they realize what's happening. It's a Catholic Church so it's not ME they're hearing on Sunday morning. (Lutherans wouldn't bring it up directly, we don't talk about such things)
And lastly.... if you're completely devoted to the supreme being of your choice... make darn sure you know how to spell his name. (I think St Peter takes points for that)
If this were Scientology it would be spelled T - O - M
Why are they picking on Harry? Seems the Christians would be up in arms against Voldemort... he's the real baddy and I hear he steals from the offering plate.
Does this statue give you the creeps? All I can hear is "TOUCHDOWN!"
What do we want? - TD!
From who? - Jesus!
Tell me some born again jock hasn't kicked the pigskin between those uprights!
Jesus founded a university in North Carolina... who knew? I wonder what their mascot is? Go Disciples! Convert those Tigers!
This one's funny... at least they realize what's happening. It's a Catholic Church so it's not ME they're hearing on Sunday morning. (Lutherans wouldn't bring it up directly, we don't talk about such things)
And lastly.... if you're completely devoted to the supreme being of your choice... make darn sure you know how to spell his name. (I think St Peter takes points for that)
If this were Scientology it would be spelled T - O - M
Oh My Goodness.... literarlly
I didn't have the chutzpah to say "God" in the title when it really was about God or better yet, some of his over zealous followers that even have the Lord Almighty rolling his eyes in exasperation.
So you all know my friend Stephen over at "Are you there Blog...". Well, he has a friend Mike who I just saw his blog for the first time. If I were better at blogging (working on it) I would be able to cross over to a posting I wanted you to see. But as it is, I'm going to break what I'm sure is a Blogmandment and repost but give BIG ASS props and credit to Mike (YAY MIKE!)
I don't know where these folks came from, but if they grew up within 100 miles of Seneca, SC I wouldn't be surprised.
Check the look on the boy's face. "Lookit' mom, I'm gonna git me some sinners-n-homosexshuls!"
I bet the mother who did this wore a skirt to gym class in high school.
This keeps getting better. I googled the above pjs and it looks like a lot of folks are talking about them. Over at Ship of Fools, they said "Isn't it about time for Christian kids to lead the fight against secular pajamas? Yes it is! ..." Go check this site, I think it's gonna be a funny :)
So you all know my friend Stephen over at "Are you there Blog...". Well, he has a friend Mike who I just saw his blog for the first time. If I were better at blogging (working on it) I would be able to cross over to a posting I wanted you to see. But as it is, I'm going to break what I'm sure is a Blogmandment and repost but give BIG ASS props and credit to Mike (YAY MIKE!)
I don't know where these folks came from, but if they grew up within 100 miles of Seneca, SC I wouldn't be surprised.
Check the look on the boy's face. "Lookit' mom, I'm gonna git me some sinners-n-homosexshuls!"
I bet the mother who did this wore a skirt to gym class in high school.
This keeps getting better. I googled the above pjs and it looks like a lot of folks are talking about them. Over at Ship of Fools, they said "Isn't it about time for Christian kids to lead the fight against secular pajamas? Yes it is! ..." Go check this site, I think it's gonna be a funny :)
They took my TOOTHPASTE!
It was Aquafresh whitening toothpaste with the minty taste and the orange stripes. How in the world is THAT supposed to blow up a plane? I know, they're just doing their job... but honestly... good thing I have gum.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I'm late... sorry....
So I take my laptop to the Oregon Convention Center and find out they charge $400 for 7 days of wireless internet. Should I pay for it? oh HELL no!
So needless to say I'm WAY behind on my posting and I miss Bloggie! So here are the cliff notes:
COMBOVERS: Please tell me that you just cringe when you even read the word. The answer is ALWAYS no when considering a combover. Why am I bringing this up in the "Travel" section of Bloggie? I'm at a conference where there are FAR more combovers per capita than there ever should be. Because I saw them on both sexes here (yes....) here's a semple if/then. If you find you need a combover... Then Men... don't, do the Captain Picard or Stephen Rader. Both are handsome men. Then Women... it's called a wig.
OVERALLS: Conferences are different where ever you go, but it seems that there's a certain amount of professionalism that should be met. If you know me, you know that I think "professional dress" is such the bucket of BS. I can't stand someone thinking wearing a tie makes others think differently of you. However, overalls over a flannel shirt over a thermal underwear top with a baseball cap that used to be yellow but is dingy something now is a bit too casual. Why not come in a bathrobe and slippers?
DUCK WALK GAS: OK, Can't believe I'm writing this one or that I had to experience it to write it. You know you've done it in the privacy of your own home when you were alone or with that special someone who wouldn't hold it against you, but to do this in public even if it's in the bathroom, is unreal. As I'm walking out of the bathroom this man is walking in (the bathroom is full by the way) and as he's walking, he's farting. It's not the continuous blaaaaaaaarp it's the kind that comes out with each step. blarp, blarp, blarp, blarp.
SORE LEGS: Why didn't someone tell me not to get back into running/stairmaster the same day I'm going to stand on a concrete exhibit hall floor for 9 hours? I STILL hurt.
PERK SUCKERS: If you're not in the convention industry, a "Perk Sucker" is one of those people who walk through a trade show only to collect food, give-a-ways, chachkis, etc. They'll try to sneak up to your booth and grab your goodies (and not in a good way) and get away from you without talking. They are the most annoying thing to this exhibitor. I think its so funny to see them coming down the aisle toward you. I snapped this picture today:
I saw her coming down the aisle with this bag in tow. She would look at a booth, then move in, grab and walk away taking only a second to shove whatever she took into her suitcase. Before I started to dog her, I wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaking her for a traveler. Her badge said she's from Portland. PERK SUCKER!
Here's the funny... the booth she's in in the pic makes machines that put that pull away clear plastic wrapper on your microwave dinners. They had some different type of trays on display with fake food in them. She was under the impression that they were real. When the guy she's talking to told her it was fake, she left.
PERK SUCKER!!!
I'm off to LA tomorrow but who knows what the last day will bring. I will try to update. But for now I'm off to enjoy my last dinner in Portland (hello expense account! WOOHOO!)
So needless to say I'm WAY behind on my posting and I miss Bloggie! So here are the cliff notes:
COMBOVERS: Please tell me that you just cringe when you even read the word. The answer is ALWAYS no when considering a combover. Why am I bringing this up in the "Travel" section of Bloggie? I'm at a conference where there are FAR more combovers per capita than there ever should be. Because I saw them on both sexes here (yes....) here's a semple if/then. If you find you need a combover... Then Men... don't, do the Captain Picard or Stephen Rader. Both are handsome men. Then Women... it's called a wig.
OVERALLS: Conferences are different where ever you go, but it seems that there's a certain amount of professionalism that should be met. If you know me, you know that I think "professional dress" is such the bucket of BS. I can't stand someone thinking wearing a tie makes others think differently of you. However, overalls over a flannel shirt over a thermal underwear top with a baseball cap that used to be yellow but is dingy something now is a bit too casual. Why not come in a bathrobe and slippers?
DUCK WALK GAS: OK, Can't believe I'm writing this one or that I had to experience it to write it. You know you've done it in the privacy of your own home when you were alone or with that special someone who wouldn't hold it against you, but to do this in public even if it's in the bathroom, is unreal. As I'm walking out of the bathroom this man is walking in (the bathroom is full by the way) and as he's walking, he's farting. It's not the continuous blaaaaaaaarp it's the kind that comes out with each step. blarp, blarp, blarp, blarp.
SORE LEGS: Why didn't someone tell me not to get back into running/stairmaster the same day I'm going to stand on a concrete exhibit hall floor for 9 hours? I STILL hurt.
PERK SUCKERS: If you're not in the convention industry, a "Perk Sucker" is one of those people who walk through a trade show only to collect food, give-a-ways, chachkis, etc. They'll try to sneak up to your booth and grab your goodies (and not in a good way) and get away from you without talking. They are the most annoying thing to this exhibitor. I think its so funny to see them coming down the aisle toward you. I snapped this picture today:
I saw her coming down the aisle with this bag in tow. She would look at a booth, then move in, grab and walk away taking only a second to shove whatever she took into her suitcase. Before I started to dog her, I wanted to make sure I wasn't mistaking her for a traveler. Her badge said she's from Portland. PERK SUCKER!
Here's the funny... the booth she's in in the pic makes machines that put that pull away clear plastic wrapper on your microwave dinners. They had some different type of trays on display with fake food in them. She was under the impression that they were real. When the guy she's talking to told her it was fake, she left.
PERK SUCKER!!!
I'm off to LA tomorrow but who knows what the last day will bring. I will try to update. But for now I'm off to enjoy my last dinner in Portland (hello expense account! WOOHOO!)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Sunday night (7:24 Portland Time)
Portland is a very pretty city! Walked around today after the convention center.
I saw a few homeless people. I also saw the young grunge/hippie folks that are prevalent in the Northwest... hard to tell the two apart sometimes though. Honestly Skippy, I believe in personal freedom, but that beard looks stupid.
I'm heading out to dinner if I can find that cool restaurant I walked by again. I made it out of the Lazy mode finally. Watch out Portland!
.... wait, Legally Blonde 2, Red, White and Blonde is on TBS.... hello Room Service, I'd like....
I saw a few homeless people. I also saw the young grunge/hippie folks that are prevalent in the Northwest... hard to tell the two apart sometimes though. Honestly Skippy, I believe in personal freedom, but that beard looks stupid.
I'm heading out to dinner if I can find that cool restaurant I walked by again. I made it out of the Lazy mode finally. Watch out Portland!
.... wait, Legally Blonde 2, Red, White and Blonde is on TBS.... hello Room Service, I'd like....
Am I lazy? (10:25am Portland Time)
Room Service for lunch yesterday
Room Service for dinner last night
This morning I thought I'd try shaking things up
I went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.
I didn't set my alarm, but still woke up on my own early. I got out of bed and checked email and posted the previous blog.
Grabbed a hat (no shower yet) and my current book Bitter is the New Black and went to the restaurant.
Done eating, back in my room watching Silence of the Lambs (aka, Jodie as Clairol Brunette - I'm feeling Shade #132)
Can I not just live the life of Riley and be done with it?
Who was Riley anyway? (Snaps to Lea for answering my rhetorical question with GREAT info!)
Guess I have to get over to the convention center.
Room Service for dinner last night
This morning I thought I'd try shaking things up
I went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.
I didn't set my alarm, but still woke up on my own early. I got out of bed and checked email and posted the previous blog.
Grabbed a hat (no shower yet) and my current book Bitter is the New Black and went to the restaurant.
Done eating, back in my room watching Silence of the Lambs (aka, Jodie as Clairol Brunette - I'm feeling Shade #132)
Can I not just live the life of Riley and be done with it?
Who was Riley anyway? (Snaps to Lea for answering my rhetorical question with GREAT info!)
Guess I have to get over to the convention center.
Like I said.....
I told you that if I made the statement that something would happen in my travels that it would be a boring, uneventful trip. Seems I was right. Although, to be fair, I did spend most of my trip in a quiet coma. (aka, dead sleep) Why is that? Because I've turned myself into a caffeine weenie!
In a small step toward being healthier I've slowly but surely cut back on my caffeine intake through soda. I made the jump from regular to diet a long time ago and oddly enough can't go back. But cutting back on caffeine was harder. Not so much that I need it, but when I'm eating a meal, drinking water alone just doesn't quite cut it for me. There's not a lot of choice if you don't drink a soda with dinner unless you want alcohol.
So I started to slowly cut back and now I just have a soda early in the morning on the way to work and then maybe for lunch. Either way, I don't drink caffeine past 3pm so it won't keep me up. So many people will immediately tell me 'oh soda doesn't affect me that way, I can drink 3 cups of coffee before bed and I'm fine'... to which I say (all in my head) Gee thanks, I'm so glad that you told me that and I see that our identical physiology is letting me down.
But Friday on the way home I was thinking about all that I had to do before I left on Saturday (clean the house, laundry, pack) and worried that I would talk myself into putting one part of that off until Saturday morning. I thought if I could get a Diet Pepsi Max (a Diet Pepsi with a bolt of extra caffeine), get a little bit of an extra boost and get it all done. Long story short... I ended up with a regular (not diet) Mountain Dew.
OK, how many of you just went 'Oh my God' or gasped as you realized just how much caffeine is in a Dew AND the sugar....
3:45am That's the last time I remember seeing the clock before I finally fell into a slightly fitful sleep. I woke up at the last possible minute that would give me enough time to get ready, call a cab and high tail it to O'Hare.
Needless to say, I did clean my house, did laundry, packed all my things for my trip and was able to wake up, shower and walk out the door. Heaven forbid I be that prepared all the time.
Anyway, I made it to Portland, it's rainy and cool, but I didn't see much other than my hotel. I got here, ordered room service lunch, and promptly fell asleep until 9pm.
.... it's a nice room at least.... I'll get out and about today.
More to come!
A couple of Post Scripts:
A quicky shout out to my coworker Rochelle... The house WAS clean after all... what else was I supposed to do, I was awake!
when I link words I will google them and look for a couple of options for fun or humor (Sorry L.Ron) when I googled Mountain Dew I found the linked page above. A report on Mt. Dew by BBC. Why in the hell are the Brits concerned with what we're drinking? Alcohol, Arsenic, Zombie uber global annihilating Soldier juice I can understand, but soft drinks? Honestly Nigel... pick something more interesting. I mean... Brittney IS having a breakdown!
In a small step toward being healthier I've slowly but surely cut back on my caffeine intake through soda. I made the jump from regular to diet a long time ago and oddly enough can't go back. But cutting back on caffeine was harder. Not so much that I need it, but when I'm eating a meal, drinking water alone just doesn't quite cut it for me. There's not a lot of choice if you don't drink a soda with dinner unless you want alcohol.
So I started to slowly cut back and now I just have a soda early in the morning on the way to work and then maybe for lunch. Either way, I don't drink caffeine past 3pm so it won't keep me up. So many people will immediately tell me 'oh soda doesn't affect me that way, I can drink 3 cups of coffee before bed and I'm fine'... to which I say (all in my head) Gee thanks, I'm so glad that you told me that and I see that our identical physiology is letting me down.
But Friday on the way home I was thinking about all that I had to do before I left on Saturday (clean the house, laundry, pack) and worried that I would talk myself into putting one part of that off until Saturday morning. I thought if I could get a Diet Pepsi Max (a Diet Pepsi with a bolt of extra caffeine), get a little bit of an extra boost and get it all done. Long story short... I ended up with a regular (not diet) Mountain Dew.
OK, how many of you just went 'Oh my God' or gasped as you realized just how much caffeine is in a Dew AND the sugar....
3:45am That's the last time I remember seeing the clock before I finally fell into a slightly fitful sleep. I woke up at the last possible minute that would give me enough time to get ready, call a cab and high tail it to O'Hare.
Needless to say, I did clean my house, did laundry, packed all my things for my trip and was able to wake up, shower and walk out the door. Heaven forbid I be that prepared all the time.
Anyway, I made it to Portland, it's rainy and cool, but I didn't see much other than my hotel. I got here, ordered room service lunch, and promptly fell asleep until 9pm.
.... it's a nice room at least.... I'll get out and about today.
More to come!
A couple of Post Scripts:
A quicky shout out to my coworker Rochelle... The house WAS clean after all... what else was I supposed to do, I was awake!
when I link words I will google them and look for a couple of options for fun or humor (Sorry L.Ron) when I googled Mountain Dew I found the linked page above. A report on Mt. Dew by BBC. Why in the hell are the Brits concerned with what we're drinking? Alcohol, Arsenic, Zombie uber global annihilating Soldier juice I can understand, but soft drinks? Honestly Nigel... pick something more interesting. I mean... Brittney IS having a breakdown!
Friday, January 11, 2008
A wee bit of normalcy FINALLY
If you know me, you know 2007 has seen me working a job that is not my ideal (and I'll leave it at that) I'm still planning meetings, but they're either on site at our campus in BFE Summit-Argo or at one of the small suburban properties around here. Nothing wrong with that, but when you come from Traveling X times per month to locations like San Francisco, New Orleans, Bermuda, Montreal, etc.... Summit-Argo or Burr Ridge is a bit small.
But for once I get to take the show on the road and I'm managing an exhibit this coming week in Portland, OR. Folks I work with don't understand why I enjoy this so much, but just as my co-worker scientists feel at home in the lab, I feel equally at home in a convention center or a hotel with BIG meeting space. (sometimes size DOES matter!)
One indelible truth I've found in all my travels is that something ALWAYS happens that's worth telling. Now that I've actually thrown that proclamation out there, this will probably turn out to be the most boring trip, but never fear, that just means I'll find some poor hick in the airport and make up a good story for you there as I do plan on chronicling my trip on the blog. Hey, I'm going to be sitting in an exhibit hall full of food science nerds (my boss and coworkers OBVIOUSLY the exception!) so I'm sure there will be ample time to boot up the ole HP and visit Bloggie and all of you on occasion.
In the meantime, I want to put in two plugs for HOURS of entertainment!
1. Superdickery.com. This site is HILARIOUS! I spent over an hour just going through one section that shows what a dick Superman can be. They show old comic covers and the commentary is priceless! Poor Jimmy Olson.
Also look for the terribly un-PC ones that came out in WWII. (I can NOT post it on here... I just can't)
2. Jennsylvania. This is a blog by an author of 2 VERY funny books, Jen Lancaster. She was a high paid snotty sorority bitch in the dot.com/corporate world then lost her job (and you're happy she did...what a bitch!) but she learns how to cope, and how to find the humor in life. Start with "Bitter is the New Black".
You hate her to start, but you love her in the end (and feel sorry for Fletch sometimes....)
But for once I get to take the show on the road and I'm managing an exhibit this coming week in Portland, OR. Folks I work with don't understand why I enjoy this so much, but just as my co-worker scientists feel at home in the lab, I feel equally at home in a convention center or a hotel with BIG meeting space. (sometimes size DOES matter!)
One indelible truth I've found in all my travels is that something ALWAYS happens that's worth telling. Now that I've actually thrown that proclamation out there, this will probably turn out to be the most boring trip, but never fear, that just means I'll find some poor hick in the airport and make up a good story for you there as I do plan on chronicling my trip on the blog. Hey, I'm going to be sitting in an exhibit hall full of food science nerds (my boss and coworkers OBVIOUSLY the exception!) so I'm sure there will be ample time to boot up the ole HP and visit Bloggie and all of you on occasion.
In the meantime, I want to put in two plugs for HOURS of entertainment!
1. Superdickery.com. This site is HILARIOUS! I spent over an hour just going through one section that shows what a dick Superman can be. They show old comic covers and the commentary is priceless! Poor Jimmy Olson.
Also look for the terribly un-PC ones that came out in WWII. (I can NOT post it on here... I just can't)
2. Jennsylvania. This is a blog by an author of 2 VERY funny books, Jen Lancaster. She was a high paid snotty sorority bitch in the dot.com/corporate world then lost her job (and you're happy she did...what a bitch!) but she learns how to cope, and how to find the humor in life. Start with "Bitter is the New Black".
You hate her to start, but you love her in the end (and feel sorry for Fletch sometimes....)
Thursday, January 10, 2008
How I miss NBC Thursday....
OK, I'm at a loss....
I take time in the morning to check emails (both professional and personal) then I run through a few blogs to see the latest posts and realized that I haven't done anything since Tuesday. OH CRAP! So I started to think that I needed to do something...
What's today? Thursday
drawing a blank
What does Thursday mean to me? Nothing special... anymore
Anymore? Why would my mind say "anymore" then I realized Must See TV. I used to wait with bated breath for Thursday nights on NBC. Now I'm not talking about one specific show or one specific year, but for the LONGEST time NBC really tried to pack their biggest punch with Thursdays. You can even think back to before Friends and Seinfeld to The Cosby Show and such. Thursday was the KING night it seemed.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday was shot because most folks were going out on the weekend. Monday isn't the best because people are still recovering from being out late or sleeping late on the weekend. Tuesday, too close to Monday, Wednesday had a shot being hump day, but Thursday...
Thursday is like the unofficial start to the weekend. I'm sure it was like this at other universities, but at Clemson (that's in South Carolina for those of you who don't know)there were nearly as many people out in the bars as there were over the entire weekend. (Ahh, Tiger Town Tavern... the memories) But I digress...
With the exception of those drinkers in Tiger Town, people were gearing up for the weekend and Thursday was a night of good feeling, the night of great comedy. Think back to how many Thursdays you spent at the TV bar in Cheers, Laughed at how many stupid haircuts Tempest Bledsoe (Vanessa Huxtable) could have on the Cosby Show...
I must note that at this point in my free form blogging I have actually googled Must See TV and found in Wickipedia a history of Must See TV from NBC and have had a flood of even MORE shows I hadn't remembered had their time as Thursday night Divas..
Check it....
Fame
Diff'rent Strokes
Hill Street Blues
Family Ties
LA Law
Wings
Frasier
Mad About You
Will & Grace
ER (still going... their career in the ER has officially lasted longer than mine did!)
Wickipedia states the demise of Must See TV came about when the Friends spin off "Joey" came to the screen (I concur, though I thought it was mildly OK) and The Apprentice.
I agree with that assessment, but I also have my own thoughts, and since this is my blog I get to say it even though many of you will disagree. I think the demise of Must See TV is the current line up. I'm in a hard position saying this because Jason Lee is great! but I can't stand "My Name is Earl", Steve Carell is HILARIOUS, but The Office is just not funny to me, and Tina Fey is insanely talented, but 30Rock does absolutely nothing for me.
Sadly, Thursday night has become for me the night to eschew the couch and clean house, do laundry and get ready for the weekend if I'm not already out at some meeting for some event I've gotten myself involved in. Long gone are the Must See evenings. NBC holds my interest with Heroes, Law & Order (original and SVU) and maybe another show or two.
Guess I'll have to stop watching TV. (Yeah, I almost said that without cracking a smile... as if!)
I take time in the morning to check emails (both professional and personal) then I run through a few blogs to see the latest posts and realized that I haven't done anything since Tuesday. OH CRAP! So I started to think that I needed to do something...
What's today? Thursday
drawing a blank
What does Thursday mean to me? Nothing special... anymore
Anymore? Why would my mind say "anymore" then I realized Must See TV. I used to wait with bated breath for Thursday nights on NBC. Now I'm not talking about one specific show or one specific year, but for the LONGEST time NBC really tried to pack their biggest punch with Thursdays. You can even think back to before Friends and Seinfeld to The Cosby Show and such. Thursday was the KING night it seemed.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday was shot because most folks were going out on the weekend. Monday isn't the best because people are still recovering from being out late or sleeping late on the weekend. Tuesday, too close to Monday, Wednesday had a shot being hump day, but Thursday...
Thursday is like the unofficial start to the weekend. I'm sure it was like this at other universities, but at Clemson (that's in South Carolina for those of you who don't know)there were nearly as many people out in the bars as there were over the entire weekend. (Ahh, Tiger Town Tavern... the memories) But I digress...
With the exception of those drinkers in Tiger Town, people were gearing up for the weekend and Thursday was a night of good feeling, the night of great comedy. Think back to how many Thursdays you spent at the TV bar in Cheers, Laughed at how many stupid haircuts Tempest Bledsoe (Vanessa Huxtable) could have on the Cosby Show...
I must note that at this point in my free form blogging I have actually googled Must See TV and found in Wickipedia a history of Must See TV from NBC and have had a flood of even MORE shows I hadn't remembered had their time as Thursday night Divas..
Check it....
Fame
Diff'rent Strokes
Hill Street Blues
Family Ties
LA Law
Wings
Frasier
Mad About You
Will & Grace
ER (still going... their career in the ER has officially lasted longer than mine did!)
Wickipedia states the demise of Must See TV came about when the Friends spin off "Joey" came to the screen (I concur, though I thought it was mildly OK) and The Apprentice.
I agree with that assessment, but I also have my own thoughts, and since this is my blog I get to say it even though many of you will disagree. I think the demise of Must See TV is the current line up. I'm in a hard position saying this because Jason Lee is great! but I can't stand "My Name is Earl", Steve Carell is HILARIOUS, but The Office is just not funny to me, and Tina Fey is insanely talented, but 30Rock does absolutely nothing for me.
Sadly, Thursday night has become for me the night to eschew the couch and clean house, do laundry and get ready for the weekend if I'm not already out at some meeting for some event I've gotten myself involved in. Long gone are the Must See evenings. NBC holds my interest with Heroes, Law & Order (original and SVU) and maybe another show or two.
Guess I'll have to stop watching TV. (Yeah, I almost said that without cracking a smile... as if!)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
TMI Tuesday!
One thing I'm learning in the world of blogging is that bloggers seem to not only support each other, but also feed off each other (in a good way) There's a fun little blog that my Comic Buddy Stephen Rader brings up each week called TMI Tuesday. They make a little list of questions each Tuesday that give you an insight, probably too much an insight, into the person answering the questions. So let's give it a go shall we???
1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?
Not really, I think if I get a date there's it's an act of God or Karma or something. I don't always wear my favorite "These jeans make my ass look good" jeans since it could be summer... but I am picky about being early. Superstitions about sex??? Hmm... next time I have sex I'll let you know.
2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be? spouse/significant other, unrequited love or someone you have a crush on, an old/past love, your best friend.
Please... this sounds like a question for The Dating Game... I'd say none of the above. I'd say bring George Abeking to the island... he's one of the top boat builders in the world. I figure if I get his ass on this island, he'll help me get my ass OFF this island and leave that cheap one wish grantin' Genie on the island.
3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.
While I may not get the sex as often, it certainly ain't for lack of wanting. I can say that my libido is far more dependable than the US Postal Service. Ever present and sitting on go!
4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)
None of the above, I'm a slightly giggly, truth telling and touchy/feely drunk. But I'm also a very conscious drunk.. internally I'm constantly monitoring what I'm doing, but oddly it's so detached it is as if I'm watching someone else from a really odd perspective.
5) Who turns you on the most & why: (and I'm going to say why not too...)
the activist - Nope..too militant and they are too serious. I mean who wants to stop in the middle of sex because of the plight of the South American smoot banded woodpecker?
the author - Nope. Books put me to sleep...what's an author going to do?
the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)nah, getting naked in front of someone who's going to look at me critically physiologically? not my thing
the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.) - "No Chris, that's Ooo YES that's hot. Not 'Yeah'" Sure, correct me in my moanings.... :)
the model - uh... no. 'nuff said'
the musician - this one time at band camp....
the politician - all I could see is Goerge Bush.. nope
the scientist - if a coworker reads this, I'm sorry, but I'm surrounded by scientists all day.. not a one of them I've ever even thought of sleeping with. pass...
the comedian - there we go! I don't need to laugh all the time or during those times, but a sincere genuine smile and a heartfelt laugh melts me every time! Plus, if you roll off the bed, who better to do it with than someone who will find it as friggin' hilarious like me!
Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?
Oh Lord.... I'll just say that I, and the poor person I was with, are sworn to secrecy. My family reads this blog... Get me drunk, stand out of my arms reach (4 feet should do it) and ask me again...
1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?
Not really, I think if I get a date there's it's an act of God or Karma or something. I don't always wear my favorite "These jeans make my ass look good" jeans since it could be summer... but I am picky about being early. Superstitions about sex??? Hmm... next time I have sex I'll let you know.
2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be? spouse/significant other, unrequited love or someone you have a crush on, an old/past love, your best friend.
Please... this sounds like a question for The Dating Game... I'd say none of the above. I'd say bring George Abeking to the island... he's one of the top boat builders in the world. I figure if I get his ass on this island, he'll help me get my ass OFF this island and leave that cheap one wish grantin' Genie on the island.
3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.
While I may not get the sex as often, it certainly ain't for lack of wanting. I can say that my libido is far more dependable than the US Postal Service. Ever present and sitting on go!
4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)
None of the above, I'm a slightly giggly, truth telling and touchy/feely drunk. But I'm also a very conscious drunk.. internally I'm constantly monitoring what I'm doing, but oddly it's so detached it is as if I'm watching someone else from a really odd perspective.
5) Who turns you on the most & why: (and I'm going to say why not too...)
the activist - Nope..too militant and they are too serious. I mean who wants to stop in the middle of sex because of the plight of the South American smoot banded woodpecker?
the author - Nope. Books put me to sleep...what's an author going to do?
the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)nah, getting naked in front of someone who's going to look at me critically physiologically? not my thing
the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.) - "No Chris, that's Ooo YES that's hot. Not 'Yeah'" Sure, correct me in my moanings.... :)
the model - uh... no. 'nuff said'
the musician - this one time at band camp....
the politician - all I could see is Goerge Bush.. nope
the scientist - if a coworker reads this, I'm sorry, but I'm surrounded by scientists all day.. not a one of them I've ever even thought of sleeping with. pass...
the comedian - there we go! I don't need to laugh all the time or during those times, but a sincere genuine smile and a heartfelt laugh melts me every time! Plus, if you roll off the bed, who better to do it with than someone who will find it as friggin' hilarious like me!
Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?
Oh Lord.... I'll just say that I, and the poor person I was with, are sworn to secrecy. My family reads this blog... Get me drunk, stand out of my arms reach (4 feet should do it) and ask me again...
Monday, January 7, 2008
Couch Potato hooked....
So which am I more embarrassed to say I watch... America's Next Top Model or American Gladiators?
I thought the show was pretty goofy back in the 80's/90's when it was on. I have been rolling my eyes so hard I get headaches since they've been advertising the new show. DAMN if they didn't hook me. I think I could do without Hulk Hogan and what's-her-face Ali, but I don't think I could do without my main squeeze gladiator...
Those of you who know me... who do you think it is?
My guess is that your guess is wrong....
why oh why am I attracted to the wrong person all the time.
oh I gotta schoolboy crush on CRUSH!
Let's see:
PRO: She's quite pretty
CON: She can kick my ass
PRO: She's got a really cool hair cut a la Posh Spice before the break up
CON: She can kick my ass
PRO: Her smile is so come-hither
CON: Her smile is so "come-hither so I can kick your ass!"
So my fascination with my new love is ever so fleeting because of reality (and fear of an ass kicking) as is my attention to the show I'm sure. The endless posturing of the contestants gets boring and predictable. Yes, you 5'8" 120 pound Asian man, I am right there with you thinking that the 6'8" black mound of muscle will be tossed aside at your whim.... However, if there's one little sassy joy I get when they introduce the gladiators. If it's "Militia" I do love yelling "Gay Porn Star!".... so I've heard....
So back to women who CANNOT kick my ass... Where's Tyra Banks and the next season of America's Next Top Model?
I thought the show was pretty goofy back in the 80's/90's when it was on. I have been rolling my eyes so hard I get headaches since they've been advertising the new show. DAMN if they didn't hook me. I think I could do without Hulk Hogan and what's-her-face Ali, but I don't think I could do without my main squeeze gladiator...
Those of you who know me... who do you think it is?
My guess is that your guess is wrong....
why oh why am I attracted to the wrong person all the time.
oh I gotta schoolboy crush on CRUSH!
Let's see:
PRO: She's quite pretty
CON: She can kick my ass
PRO: She's got a really cool hair cut a la Posh Spice before the break up
CON: She can kick my ass
PRO: Her smile is so come-hither
CON: Her smile is so "come-hither so I can kick your ass!"
So my fascination with my new love is ever so fleeting because of reality (and fear of an ass kicking) as is my attention to the show I'm sure. The endless posturing of the contestants gets boring and predictable. Yes, you 5'8" 120 pound Asian man, I am right there with you thinking that the 6'8" black mound of muscle will be tossed aside at your whim.... However, if there's one little sassy joy I get when they introduce the gladiators. If it's "Militia" I do love yelling "Gay Porn Star!".... so I've heard....
So back to women who CANNOT kick my ass... Where's Tyra Banks and the next season of America's Next Top Model?
The Overrated helps the Rode Hard & Put up Wet
When I started this blog I never intended to be a news hound. I never read the paper. If I see the news on TV its because the TV was on while I was getting ready this morning and I happened to hear something. However, I did catch this tidbit and, you know me, had to bitch out a comment.
Dr. Phil, Oprah's former golden boy and overweight buttinski, (I bring up overweight because he's had time telling housewives how to get fit... physician heal thyself you fat-ass) has turned his target to Britney Spears.
OH
MY
GOD
Isn't this like crossing the streams from the old Ghostbusters movie? Something you SHOULD NOT do?
Dr. Phil says "My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. I am very concerned for her."
Phil my boy, I agree with you on one thing, Britney is in some DIRE need of psychological intervention. I also think she needs a prescription of my size 14 foot planted deeply and firmly up her ass 3 times a day while shouting "It's life you dipwit, get over it, grow up and get on!"
Caring about Britney in the slightest has been a big surprise to me. A bigger shocker is that I'm actually saying what I'm about to say. I'm glad Kevin Federline got the kids. < I think I threw up a little bit on that one > I'm sure he's a good guy who just thought it would actually get him ahead to adopt an image that did not belong with his ethnicity, but apparently the courts think he'll do a good job. I say YOU GO KEVIN.
And I'll end this by making a correction. I said caring about Britney was a surprise to me. Who am I kidding? I couldn't care less about her.
Dr. Phil, Oprah's former golden boy and overweight buttinski, (I bring up overweight because he's had time telling housewives how to get fit... physician heal thyself you fat-ass) has turned his target to Britney Spears.
OH
MY
GOD
Isn't this like crossing the streams from the old Ghostbusters movie? Something you SHOULD NOT do?
Dr. Phil says "My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. I am very concerned for her."
Phil my boy, I agree with you on one thing, Britney is in some DIRE need of psychological intervention. I also think she needs a prescription of my size 14 foot planted deeply and firmly up her ass 3 times a day while shouting "It's life you dipwit, get over it, grow up and get on!"
Caring about Britney in the slightest has been a big surprise to me. A bigger shocker is that I'm actually saying what I'm about to say. I'm glad Kevin Federline got the kids. < I think I threw up a little bit on that one > I'm sure he's a good guy who just thought it would actually get him ahead to adopt an image that did not belong with his ethnicity, but apparently the courts think he'll do a good job. I say YOU GO KEVIN.
And I'll end this by making a correction. I said caring about Britney was a surprise to me. Who am I kidding? I couldn't care less about her.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
"Don't talk about me like I'm not here..."
So can anyone guess by the title who this post is about? What is up with Julia Roberts upper lip? I've seen her in movies where she's got a nice normal lip, then a scene where she starts to cry (like the "Drink your juice Shelby" scene in Steel Magnolias) and suddenly she's got this big pumped up snail sized lip that would rival Moms Mably and even make Mick Jagger jealous.
Now I must say, as I'm watching Ocean's Eleven and typing this, she's in a scene with George Clooney nowhere near crying, but she's got a lip that's pushing maximum density. It's not to the point of the Juice scene, but damn near close.
I don't mean to dog on Julia, but while I'm on the topic... any other southerners notice how terrible Julia's southern accent was in Steel Magnolias? She had the worst accent out of the entire cast and she's from Smyrna Georgia! (and saying she had the worst accent is pretty bad considering she was up against Darryl Hannah)
Don't get me wrong, I love Julia Roberts, I think she's cool as hell and a damn fine actress.... I was just curious about that lip thing. Seems I'm not the only one having fun with the Juice scene though... Don't you just love YouTube? See below:
Now I must say, as I'm watching Ocean's Eleven and typing this, she's in a scene with George Clooney nowhere near crying, but she's got a lip that's pushing maximum density. It's not to the point of the Juice scene, but damn near close.
I don't mean to dog on Julia, but while I'm on the topic... any other southerners notice how terrible Julia's southern accent was in Steel Magnolias? She had the worst accent out of the entire cast and she's from Smyrna Georgia! (and saying she had the worst accent is pretty bad considering she was up against Darryl Hannah)
Don't get me wrong, I love Julia Roberts, I think she's cool as hell and a damn fine actress.... I was just curious about that lip thing. Seems I'm not the only one having fun with the Juice scene though... Don't you just love YouTube? See below:
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
10 at 10 and 5 at 5
One of my New Year's resolutions is to clean up my language. So far so good, except that I can't use one of my favorite adjective expletives to convey just how cold it is here in Chicago. (and if I did, that expletive would start with an F... in case you were curious). Not that I'm a big fan of cursing, but think about it. I could say "It's COLD!" and it still wouldn't carry the same meaning or impact as "It's F*#@ing COLD!" You just naturally get the depth and weight of the statement. However, I have to stick to the explative-less version and convey the rest with a little blogditty.
Last night I watched the first part of the news as I lay down to bed. It was 10pm and the little NBC Peacock time and temp banner on the bottom of the screen said 10:00 and 10 degrees.
Seeing that gives you that minute flash of interest like when you see a digital clock displaying the time as 12:34:56 (that is if you're easily entertained like me... very easily entertained) Little did I know that the weather was going to give me another little minisecond of entertainment when I woke up the next morning. It was, as you could guess from the title of this post, 5 degrees at 5:00am.
For those of you I left behind in South Carolina who don't get the joy of northern winters and still bundle up like Nannuck of the North when the temp hits 40, 5 degrees is snot freezing weather. 5 degrees jumps up your nostrils and freezes everything so quickly that pinching your nose can sound like a light glass shattering.
They say it will be this cold throughout the day and tomorrow with a warming trend toward the weekend. Funny thing about a couple of days at 5 degrees. When you've gone through 5 degrees, you find yourself pulling off the scarf when the temp hits a balmy 25 degrees. Not for long, mind you, but you do feel a difference.
I'm willing to put up with this weather because Chicago IS the bomb~! Living here is worth the sacrifice of a couple months hermiting away while the frigid wind blows outside.... But if I could put in a request to the weather gods... how about we start Spring in Chicago a little earlier as a bonus for making it through?
Last night I watched the first part of the news as I lay down to bed. It was 10pm and the little NBC Peacock time and temp banner on the bottom of the screen said 10:00 and 10 degrees.
Seeing that gives you that minute flash of interest like when you see a digital clock displaying the time as 12:34:56 (that is if you're easily entertained like me... very easily entertained) Little did I know that the weather was going to give me another little minisecond of entertainment when I woke up the next morning. It was, as you could guess from the title of this post, 5 degrees at 5:00am.
For those of you I left behind in South Carolina who don't get the joy of northern winters and still bundle up like Nannuck of the North when the temp hits 40, 5 degrees is snot freezing weather. 5 degrees jumps up your nostrils and freezes everything so quickly that pinching your nose can sound like a light glass shattering.
They say it will be this cold throughout the day and tomorrow with a warming trend toward the weekend. Funny thing about a couple of days at 5 degrees. When you've gone through 5 degrees, you find yourself pulling off the scarf when the temp hits a balmy 25 degrees. Not for long, mind you, but you do feel a difference.
I'm willing to put up with this weather because Chicago IS the bomb~! Living here is worth the sacrifice of a couple months hermiting away while the frigid wind blows outside.... But if I could put in a request to the weather gods... how about we start Spring in Chicago a little earlier as a bonus for making it through?
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