My job and the people I meet...

If you didn't know, I'm a convention planner.

I'm the one running around with a clipboard or notebook in the back of your meeting room or convention center making sure everything is running smoothly. Some day I'll post a list of my best attendee interactions, but until then, here's one for you.

My friend Eric, also a convention planner, is on site in Florida at a meeting. Here's the interaction he had just this morning (and of course was very generous to share with his friends and colleagues)


I'm sitting here at the registration desk, on the second floor for the hotel, minding my own business.

A woman, very pretty, very blonde approaches and asks my help.

I tell her I'm not with the hotel, but could try to help her.

She can't find her room.

"It's on the first floor" she says. I tell her it's impossible that there are no guest rooms on the first floor of the Tampa Marriott. She asks me "why they would assign her room 1019 (number altered to protect the innocent) if there are no rooms on the first floor?"

I reply because it's on the 10 floor, not the 1 floor. And direct her to the elevators right over their (pointing).

She thanks, me

She laughs and says it's true what they say about blondes and takes the escalator DOWN to go to the elevators.

I thought it would be worse!

You know the Bible 66%!

 

Congratulations! You know a lot about the Bible - the books, the characters, the events. You are able to remember a lot of what you have heard and read!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
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Thanks to Bunny over at Down the Rabbit Hole. I thought I'd get a 2% considering I haven't been to Sunday School in forever!

TMI Tuesday!

A rather tame TMI compared to some, but still fun and informative:

1. Early bird or night owl?
As much as I'd love to say I'm a night owl, I'm an early bird. It's kind of dictated by my profession. I have to be at work an hour before a conference begins so I better be awake. When I was in ER health care I worked 2nd shift and wouldn't get home until midnight and often either went out with friends or stayed up watching TV to unwind. Back THEN I was a night owl, and I think could be again if I was able to shift my internal clock.

2. Where was the first place you ever had sex?
Oh God, this is gonna be cheesy and my friend Lea will no doubt prick her ears up and wonder "WHO?!" On a sailboat while Christopher Cross' "Sailing" was playing. I will not say how old I was.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
How coincidental that this question came right after last night's post! I rate myself an 8 right now which is quite high considering that 4 months ago I would have said a 4 or less. I don't consider 1 as being UNhappy, but rather each level is like a thermometer showing how many things I have to be happy about. If I win the Mega Millions lottery tonight I'll shoot right up to 15!

4. Are you more submissive or dominant?
I'm what ever you want me to be SIR!
Too many ways to answer this question so I'll just cop out and say "It depends" and when I publish my own version of Madonna's SEX Book, you'll know more!

5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes and no. I think it's more an instant infatuation/crush based on visual stimulus that sometimes works out on both sides to be a positive relationship. Funny how when both fall in love with each other, it's "love at first sight". When one person feels the love and it's unrequited it's called a crush or being out of one's league.

Bonus: Describe your bed time habits. What side do you sleep on?
What do you usual wear? Any night time rituals?
I am such a creature of habit/ritual:
- Brush teeth
- get into sleepwear (aka, nothing)
- get into bed on the side closest to the bedroom door
- turn on bedside TV (the sleep inducer)
- turn TV to Family Guy then autotune to The Simpsons
- program sleep timer to one hour
- watch a few minutes or turn over on my right side
- wake up in the morning

Happy Mini-Anniversary

My sweet bloggy-friend Bunny over at Down the Rabbit Hole celebrated her one year anniversary in the blogosphere (Happy Anni Bunny!) and it made me realize as I looked back over my blogs, that today, April 28, is my 4 month anniversary! 1/3 of a year ago I posted this :

Is This Year Over Yet?

It's funny what a few months can do. I look at the blog, and while it's humorous, I can remember how I was feeling then. I didn't know that a new job was over the horizon, I didn't know how happy I'd be with so many things in my life. I don't mean to over dramatize my life and I certainly wasn't, nor would I ever be, suicidal, but I can understand how things can look to people that it will never ever get better.

Anyway, I'm very happy to say that I'm not the same person I was when I wrote that. 2007 is over and 2008 is lookin' mighty fine! Bunny, hang in there. 2008 will get better for you too!

Oh yeah, I joined a gym today. When the shock of that wears off I'll tell you about it.

Other Blog Post

Happy Monday everyone.

Marathon Blog notice. While the Marathon Blog will be updated often, it won't keep me from my witty repartee here! :)

BIG undertaking...

Project Christopher is adding a new big facet to the Project and that's getting healthier. As I told my doctor at my last physical, if I'm doing it for myself, then myself can talk me out of anything! If I'm doing it with or for someone else, then I'm far more driven to complete whatever it is.

Given that, I will be starting the AIDS Marathon Training Program next weekend and will be running in the Amsterdam Half Marathon on October 19. I have to raise a good bit of money to qualify, but oddly, I'm more worried about my lazy ass actually learning to run well enough to complete a half marathon.

Here's a funny part... I don't actually know how many miles a half marathon is and i think I like it that way for right now. It dawns on me that I don't think the Training Program literature mentions it either which may actually be intentional and a smart move!

Anyway, I have a website for donating that takes credit cards so it's simple! Every little bit helps. I'll keep the link over there to the right and if I can figure out how, will have one of those handy thermometers that show my progress.

Also, I'll be double duty blogging to show my progress in training.

Wish me luck! Maybe by the time I cross the finish line I'll be skinny...

Statistically speaking.....

This post was very humbly awarded a "Perfect Post" award!



What artists are really trying to communicate:

TMI Tuesday

Usually TMI Tuesday's have a running theme. This week seems to be a potpourri of topics, but they're fun nonetheless! :) Get out your fork, bikini, radio and chap stick, it's time for TMI Tuesday!

1. Pancakes or waffles? With or without toppings?
Pancakes pending who's making them. Is sausage a topping?

2. They say, "Way to a man's heart is through his stomach." What is the way to your heart?
That saying is SO 50's! Get the little woman in the kitchen where she belongs and eternal bliss is yours! The way to THIS man's heart is through his mind! (or try the southern route)

3. Have you ever gone to a topless/clothing optional beach? If yes, did you participate?
It wasn't a beach, but it was a clothing option campground. As far as did I participate? Let me bring Oprah in with her Color Purple quote. "I said.. Hell No!"

4. What song reminds you of a previous relationship (for good or bad)?
Oddly, there is a song that always makes me think of a relationship that ended badly. The odd part is the relationship wasn't mine. A friend of mine in SC had a relationship ages ago with a guy and their "song" was Phil Collin's "Separate Lives" Why, I don't know. Foreshadowing it seems as they broke up anyway. I've never been big on relationship songs, but some songs really make me think of specific happenings. "Ode to Billy Joe" comes to mind.....


5. When, where and with who was your best kiss ever?
I honestly can't pick a "best kiss ever" I truly enjoy kissing and many have been fantastic in their own rights. Many have been like kissing a fish too. Sadly I can remember the WORST kiss ever, but that's for another TMI.

TMI's optional question was such that I will plead the fifth and offer you my own little optional closer:

CTA has had their fair share of complaints especially with the recent Blue Line debacle, but at least it's not like this train system that is in Japan:

Everything's better with the super improved, updated, concentrated, jojoba infused, organic, green tea extracted, supersized, thing-a-ma-bobber!

I'm changing internet providers at home so I am without internet access in my condo. That has nothing to do with the title of this entry, but it will explain why I'm in Starbucks at 9:am on a Sunday morning when (and if you know me, you know what is coming) I hate coffee! Love the smell of it brewing, but can't stand the taste. But I digress....

I came in to Starbucks to get a little internet time and thought I should buy something. Not buying something would be like using the bathroom in a business without buying something. It's not a written rule, but I'd feel bad none-the-less. So I go up to the counter and get a juice, and for the second time in as many weeks, an apple fritter. The statement I made the last time I was offered an apple fritter came to mind and it started building.

Isn't it funny how a single word can carry the weight of a ton of adjectives? For southerners (at least the ones old enough to remember southern cooking before we turned health conscious) the word "fritter" is golden. ANYTHING can be made better by making it a fritter. Hell, even a DogPooFritter sounds better than just plain DogPoo. (by the way, that picture IS an Apple Fritter... it could be confused, but that would be gross)

Laundry detergent now comes in SUPER CONCENTRATED packaging. I can never tell what their marketing point is supposed to be. I feel like this is REALLY going to get my clothes clean. But the fact of the matter is they've just decreased the amount of water used in the product so you use less of the product itself per wash. It's still the same amount of actual detergent. It's a hard sell for me because I feel like I haven't put enough in the washer to be effective. The wet spot (hee hee, I said wet spot) it leaves on the one shirt it hits is no bigger than the other wet spot made by... well, let's just say it doesn't leave a big mark on the dirty clothes and I find myself praying it's going to work (and it does)

All these super adjectives can hide all sorts of ugliness too. Microsoft Office 2007 (forgive me Bill Gates) uses all these wonderful adjectives to describe the benefits of MS07. What it is NOT telling you is the following:
- You will be in confessional repeatedly for the next month seeking penance for the litany of curse words you'll produce when you can't find the damn print button! (among MANY of your favorite program specific tools)
- After you create that FANTASTIC looking word document, you'll have to take stock of who you're going to send it to. If they don't have MS07, they won't be able to even open it! There's a "Save As" command to "save as MSword 97 - 2003". I think they could have short cut this and made a button called "Dumb it down"
- They've added even MORE "helpful" features that will aggravate the piss out of you in the efforts to be helpful. When they automatically format something time and time again thinking that you don't know what you're doing. I think they should have MSOffice in 2 levels 1. "MSOffice - I know what the hell I'm doing" and "MSOffice - Better come hold my hand because I'm a dumbass"

So it's a sunshine enhanced Sunday here in Chicago so I'm off to enjoy the day. Thank you for reading my Recently Updated, Orange Enhanced Blog 2008!

For the carnivore in all of us!

From our friends over at More Cool Pics...


sorry vegetarians.... that's funny

I love the Cubs... but....

I have a new job that requires me to commute northwest towards O'Hare. (if you're not from Chicago... bear with me) It's not a bad commute either way.. until there's an evening ballgame for the Chicago Cubs.

It really is nice living so close to Wrigley Field. I live on the 6th floor and you can see Wrigley from my window and if it's summer, the windows are open and someone hits a home run, you can hear the crowd in my window. Kind of cool. I always tell people that even if you don't like baseball, you need to go to a game at Wrigley just for the experience. Being AT the game is cool. Sometimes getting TO the game, is not.

Every bohunk, redneck, never-worked-a-city-bus suburbanite comes down the blue line (my train) and gets on the #80 Irving Park bus (my bus) going towards Wrigley. Hey Burbies... learn some things about commuting from the pros.

1. You were JUST on the train. You didn't magically appear on the bus so you, at some time, put a card in that funny little slot that takes your card and spits it back at you. Why you get on the bus, stand there blocking the door and STUPIDLY go "oh, I need my card!" is beyond me!

2. We are NOT Rosa Parks, it is socially acceptable these days to be in the back of the bus, MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS BACK! I don't care if Becky-Sue sat down in the first seat available at the front of the bus, if you're standing, you need to move back so everyone else can get on! Yesterday I gave up and didn't get on the bus because there was no room. Joe Suburb was standing half way back with both hands on the ceiling rails jacking it up with his buddy not realizing there was enough aisle room behind him to have allowed 10 more folks on the bus.

3. If you're coming into "the city" with someone not from Chicago, and you're going to regale them with Chicago tidbits, make sure you get your shit straight.
How many times will I have to sit through yet another incorrect reason why Chicago is called the Second City. (and believe me, it doesn't have SHIT to do with New York. I'll give you a hint--->)


4. Yes, CTA has implemented a fantastic program that allows seniors 65 or older to ride for free. That doesn't mean you just automatically haul Aunt Gertrude down from Crystal Lake and expect her to hop on and off like the downtown trolley. You (or rather she) has to have the senior pass card.

I hear tell that you folks out there have indoor plumbing AND Internet... go check out the CTA website and look into some stuff before you come and make me take an hour and a half to get home when it usually takes me 45. Better yet, get that big ass, overdone flat screen TV in your basement (cave) den, turn it to WGN, and watch the game there and keep your ass out in the burbs.

Whew... now was that a rant or what?

I still like suburban people though... if you stay off my train and bus.

(Disclaimer.... if I know you and we're friends and you're reading this I am NOT talking about you.. don't write me complaining. It's your NEIGHBOR!)

TMI Tax Tuesday!

How do we get from taxes to sex? Oh wait... that's right. When it comes to taxes, you're usually fucked anyway right?

1. Did you have to pay or did you get money back?
I get money back on paper, but I have to give it back to the IRS for a mistake made several years ago. I had to cash in my 401K and claimed it incorrectly. Need to fork up $1,500... dammit. See, didn't I say taxes=fucked?

2. What was your biggest financial mistake?
I see it more as a necessary evil, but taking out student loans for everything. I went to school a LONG time collectively and could by a Lexus SUV with my student loan. Otherwise I think my biggest financial mistake was not starting a 401K sooner. If you're reading this, and you're young, (or even not young and don't have one) DO IT! by the time we get to retirement there won't be anything. Sorry, it's the old man soapbox, but get ready

3. Are you a screamer?
When I have to pay taxes I am! (see, can't even try to segue it BACK to taxes!) With sex... I don't scream, I'm loud enough as it is when it's NOT sex. But let's just say you'll KNOW I'm enjoying it

4. What part of your body, other than your genitals, do you love to have touched? What part of a partner's body, other than their genitals, do you love to touch?
Not my wallet (futile attempt to steer back to taxes) Either my back, or if I'm holding hands, I like to have a finger run across my palm back and forth. On another person I like to do the same to them (hint hint maybe) or running my fingers up and down their back.

5. What commercial catch phrase best describes your life?
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" read into it what you will...

More from CALEE FORN I AYE

I'm back in the office after flying my first (and last) red-eye flight from LA to Chicago. I'm too tired to even start talking about the woman next to me who had no problem sleeping and blobbing into my personal space.... so instead, I'll recap the rest of California!

DON'T TOUCH THE BIG ASS

So you remember this picture from my last post. There's a place in LA's "Fashion District" called Santee Alley. I put "Fashion District" in quotes because the words Fashion and this Santee Alley are a contradiction in terms. Every knock off for the out-of-proportion big assed woman (you know, their body is one size and their ass looks like it's been on steroids) or pimp in training can be found in this 2 to 3 block alley all for miraculously either $5 or $35. I was with Kevin Farbeau and his mom and let's just say a Mark Jacobs bag and a Coach purse were both found for $35 each. And if they were actually MADE by Mark Jacobs and/or Coach then I'm actually a 4'10" munchkin with a lollipop bigger than my head getting ready to sing my heart out about my beloved guild. Anyway, I thought it was too funny that they actually had mannequins with larger butts to properly show off the hoochie mama pants.

GOTTA GETTA GETTY!
If you remember my last California trip I had pictures from the Getty Center. Well it seems that J. Paul had a basket full-o-dreams and an ass load-o-money to reach them with. Not only is LA home to the Getty Center in all its modern architecture glory, it is also the home of the Getty Villa. It seems that old J. Paul was sittin' around scratchin his ass and thought "You know, that uber ancient Roman city of Herculaneum had that cool Villa of the Papyri... too bad Vesuvius obliterated that Villa. I think I'll make another one in Malibu California!" Good thing he did because I had a great time with Kevin and his mom making fun of the statuary (and posing with Mom for some nice scenery shots.

The three of us sitting by the fountain

This statue was laid back in the reflection pool with his oddly ET-like long finger pointing nowhere in particular. I figured he was either saying "uhh, wait, can you also get me a Diet Pepsi" or he was saying "Pull my finger!"

I couldn't tell which was weirder... that these black busts had painted white eyes, or this guy was sculpted to look so pissed off!

I sat down to talk with Hermes about the Villa and he had some nice things to say. He's so complimentary, he knows how to smooth talk that's for sure!

RETURNING TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
I used to live in Southern California for a short time. I lived in Costa Mesa which is about 40 minutes south of LA in Orange County (I think they called it "Living behind the Orange Curtain")
Since Sunday was such a gorgeous day we decided to go south and tour the coast and pass back through my old, but brief, stomping grounds. We started in Laguna Beach after a beautiful ride through the valley and peak of Laguna Canyon.

Kevin and I on the top of the canyon. You can see Laguna Beach, the Pacific (obviously) and if you look close you can see Catalina Island in the background.

You can see how high up we are with the houses below... and some of those fools biked/ran up from the beach to where we were.
Other random, fun, goofy-ass Laguna Pics:

Laguna hills are alive... with the sound of myooosiiiic!

The guy was bent over drinking and I thought I could pinch his butt... he moved...

WATCH OUT TIME INN!

There is a GREAT burger joint I went to just before leaving Sunday night called the Apple Pan. As I write this, I can't for the life of me figure out why it is called Apple Pan because they serve burgers and fries. Before I had a chance to really look over the menu Kevin said "Hickory Burger with fries". I took it as a recommendation that bordered on mandate. Being from the south putting "Hickory" pretty much makes everything good so I took him at his word.. and he was right!
This place is about as big as my apartment. It has a u shaped counter (no tables) that seats about 10 people on each side. If there's not a seat, people stand against the wall like vultures just waiting for someone to leave. It's a surprising honor code though that no matter where you're standing, everyone sits in their turn. If not, the grissly, yet very likeable man behind the counter who's worked there for at least the last 22 years, will let you know it's not your turn.

Going through Costa Mesa was interesting though. Seeing my old office building and thinking of that horrid, unethical company I worked for (Dylan, you asshat, I hope you're serving 5-7 in some lame-ass California prison) and my old apartment brought back some fun memories of my first move outside of South Carolina. I've always thought I would be comfortable moving back to California... might have to give that another thought... hmmm... Can a 6'7" guy surf?

Tour de West Coast...

As I did back in January, I left Portland and flew to the LA area for a long weekend. After Chicago weather, and the chill of Portland, it is very nice to get to Southern California where it's sunny and (yesterday) in the mid to high 80s. As I type this on Saturday morning I'm sitting on the porch (veranda if you're proper, lanai if you live with Blanche, Rose and Dorothy) and bracing myself for temps in the 90's today. Far be it from me to complain about warm weather when I've just come from what seems like a 12 year winter in Chicago, but if you know me, you know what a heat weenie I am.

Getting into LA was interesting. I had to touch down in San Francisco, which was no problem, and then get into LA around 9:30 pm. It must be spring break or a high Jewish vacationing holiday. Do NOT get me wrong. I'm not saying anything against Jewish folks because I have the greatest respect for them (and actually, if Or Chadash would ever write me back, I'd be interested in taking classes to learn more about the Jewish faith) However, there must be a convention in LA for "Jews of the Stereotypical Faith". Every woman sounded like Fran Drescher in The Nanny but looked like her mother. Yiddish "bubalah punnum" phrases were flying everywhere. Every preteen boy had what I've heard called the "Jew Fro" and the stereotypes went on and on. I will say, however, like the opening scene in the move "Love..Actually" it was a very warm scene Jewish or not as everyone was terribly happy to see everyone. Except for the chicks from Pennsylvania.

We rented a car at LAX since we'd have more people that seats in a 2 seater BMW. It was late, the car rental center was crowded, and obviously people were impatient. However, the term impatience doesn't excuse the behavior of the women in front of us. Imagine if you will trailer park white trash come to town. They were bitching, out loud, and sadly, it sounded like pure redneck twang and I was worried someone would hear me and connect us. Once they got to the counter, wouldn't you know we would end up right next to them.

They had been talking about how they hated flying and how annoying it was. You'd assume from that they there experienced travelers. The rent-a-car lady asked for a local number like I had been asked each time I'd rented a car before. You would have thought this woman had been asked the type of maxi pad she used. "I don't have a local number, I'm from Pennsylvania (thank God... not a southern state) why would I have a local number?" I think the answer the clerk wanted to give was "so we can call you at 4am and tell you what a dumb bitch hick you are"; but she demurred in the interest of customer service.

Tune in tomorrow for some more California tour fun! (and an explaination for the following picture....)

how appropriate

Remember granola girl from my flight?

And then I found this over at More Cool Pictures....

On the road again....

I'm traveling again for work. Oddly enough, last time I traveled for work when I was blogging I was also in Portland, OR. This time it's same city, different job.

I got in on Saturday and Portland is as clean and green as usual. What a great town! Oddly enough though, sometimes clean and green isn't always the perfect situation.

On the plane there was a girl sitting next to me. She was quite a pretty girl, but you could tell from her looks she was that earth child, go green, save the earth folksy type person. She wasn't a militant about it as she was very friendly. The only time she spoke to me was when she pointed out an empty space for my carry on bag when I was having trouble finding one. She was dressed in very cottony flowy clothes, she had on sandals with knit socks (like my sister knitted these socks) a scarf tied into her hair and a nose ring that was larger than you usually see, but it had intricate scroll work on it that made it very fitting for her look. She couldn't have been more than 25 and she had a smile that would disarm even George Dubya and make him want to save a ream of paper.

Now you may wonder what about this angelic tree hugger cold possibly be outside of perfect... I would have too until she took off her jacket and rustled the air around her causing it to drift my way and make me realize she's one of THOSE that doesn't use deodorant.

Oh HELL no. blah blah blah natural scent and such, you're used to it so it's "natural" to you, but to the rest of us, you got funk going on! Wash that!

Take away my multicultural card, but there can be no right reason in a culture for not paying attention to hygiene! I would say, when in Rome... and ask folks that even though you may not bathe in your country on a regular basis, please do here in the US. But that would suggest that I do the same when I visit their land and even then I would NOT go without bathing. You stink! You make me want to hurl! If I thought one would cancel out the other I would stay in my seat to pass gas instead of going back to the bathroom out of courtesy. If I did that, though the two noxious spirits may battle to the end.

Anyway, the trip is going well and no one else has been an affront to my senses... well, at least my nose. This bitch in the silver/gold lamee top is really hurting my eyes.

Cheap all over!

So I started my usual early morning routine by visiting the blogs of friends and the first one I usually it is Stephen over at "Are you there Blog..". He has such a great network of blog friends (read..whore) and he always has these fun little quizzes or gauges that he found elsewhere and like a little lemming I copy it and bring it to you guys.

Not this time.

While I did find out I could take on 25 five year olds in a fight, I found another fun little quiz of my own that caught my interest having come from health care.

$5175.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

As much money as I put in to maintaining this body (Cocoa Puffs aren't as cheap as they used to be!) I think I could count on a little bit more of an investment return on it. Oh well...

Maybe mercenaries could pay more for my live body because....

71%

Ahhh the things that entertain me....

Happy Friday everyone!

Are we old yet?

I had the "fun" opportunity of going back to college and turn 30 at the same time. It wasn't completely painful, but there were times that the traditionally aged students (18-22) drove that knife a bit harder in my back when they reacted so strongly to my being over 30. Part of me takes it as a compliment because they couldn't believe I was that age. Part of me wanted to just swig my milk of magnesia and scratch my ass and say "You kids make my ass twitch"

At Clemson University we had our birth date (year included) on our student ID. One blonde bipsy girl at the library once giggled and said "Oh my God, like they so made a mistake on your ID!" I looked at it trying to find the misspelling of my name and when she saw my inquisitive look she points and says "They put 1966, god like that would make you....." and she stopped, again, seeing my face and realizing that I WAS like...... bitch.

Now that I'm 42, if I went back to the world of traditional college age students, it would be even more of a gap. Not just because their music and humor is often outside the realm of my sense of funny, but many other reasons. Here are a few...

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1989.

They are too young to remember the first space shuttle blowing up on take off.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS. (and sadly this makes it a "manageable disease" in their eyes)

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

They have always had an answering machine and call waiting

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never gone for a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?',

'I'd walk a mile for a Camel', or
'de plane, Boss, de plane.'


They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. (Keyboard yes, but their manual dexterity wouldn't be able to fly on the typewriter with the additional force necessary to punch the keys properly)

Random Ramblings

TMI Tuesday started with a question about the Basketball Bracket... sorry TMI folks, that did it for me, didn't need to read further. We'll miss TMI Tuesday this week.

I was home from work yesterday with an odd malady and didn't check personal emails (47 came in) or work emails (122 - and I've only been here a month)

Some whiney things that crossed my mind about being sick:

- I lose track of days. I went to bed at 9pm last night and Medium was on NBC. I thought, "Why is that on Sunday night?"

- If you're stuck on the couch in one position all day, you build this little mound of trash, kleenex, dirty dishes, etc on the end of the couch that your head is on. I spent nearly all my energy getting all that stuff, moving again to put it away right at that moment was more than I can muster

- (keep in mind I'm from a healthcare background... if bodily functions gross you out, skip to the next one.. in the future we'll flag these as BFM (bodily function moment) If your nose is running, why can't it stop when you fall asleep. It's only courteous. To either be rudely woken up by a wet feeling on your face, or waking up to find there's two inches of clearcoat varnish so that when you touch your nose it sounds like glass breaking.

- If I'm lucky I can sleep most of the day to get through whatever it is I have. But if you think back to the TV show you watched it can get really interesting when you start one show/movie, fall asleep, wake, fall asleep again, etc. It's like you mesh 7 different story lines into one.

- Ever try to talk your bladder into just leaving you alone for a few more minutes? If it hurts to get up and you get dizzy walking around, that bathroom is a LONG way away.

I'm back at work and feeling better, but now my week is off by a day. It's Tuesday right?