Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm never eating again....

I have to give up solid food forever. If the risk is having to put up with the rare case of eating something poorly cooked, that would be OK I guess. But twice in two weeks? I can't take it anymore! UGH! If you know me personally, you know what a whiney-ass I can be when I don't feel well (no comments beyond that folks... ) so you can imagine what an absolute joy I would be to be around right now.

I just finished a conference in New Orleans that went from Sunday to Saturday. On or around Tuesday, I ate something that must have had year old, bacteria infested vulture poop in it because it hit me and it hit me hard. I still had to continue with the conference, and it was hell having to run around a convention center feeling like that and still having to keep the perma-smile on for attendees.

Then, just a week after getting back from New Orleans I had a sandwich from the deli downstairs where I work that had chicken in it that maybe wasn't cooked through, or had also been cut and processed by the Vulture Poop Meat Packing Company.

Having these two episodes brought about some observations (and not ALL are from experience):

- When you move into the convention center, learn where all the bathrooms are and plan your room sets and sign changes keeping them in mind

- What is it about me, walking fast, fists clenched, sweat on my brow and pale as a ghost making a bee line for the bathroom that makes you think "Hey, now looks like a perfect time to stop him and ask that inane question that's been bothering me for 2 years..."

- Keep that little bathroom trashcan within arms reach of your toilet. If the problem is coming out of both ends, no matter WHAT choice you make, you're cleaning up the losing vote. And if you're taking care of the back end and suddenly find you need to stand up to get that little trashcan to take care of the top end... that doesn't mean the back end is going to stop doing it's thing while you make a stage set change.

- Don't watch Surgery Channel... Period

- Your idea of bland food and a hotel in a city known for spicy Cajun food's idea of bland are ENTIRELY different.... Stick with oatmeal, hold the hot sauce please.

I'm back at work today and feel a little better, but it's coming up on lunchtime. I'm a little bit hungry, but each time I think about what I can eat the choice is followed up with "what's that going to look like if I have to see it again soon?" I think I'll stick to the protein shake and a banana for right now.

One last, completely unrelated bit for fun. I saw this over at Down the Rabbit Hole and had to borrow it. Thanks Bunny!

I really really hope he wins. The alternative makes me want to reach for the little bathroom trash can....


cb said...

Wow, I didn't realize you were all stomach upset again this weekend! Uggh!!

Charles said...

The Vulture Poop Meat Packing Company?

...are they still open?