Tuesday, July 22, 2008

It was bound to happen... (TMI Tuesday)

I think I'm more surprised at the fact I'm surprised at today's TMI Tuesday subject than I actually am of the subject matter.

Funny how I kindof feel that THIS topic feels more taboo than most I've seen so far. I would try to toss up my "Pleading the 5th" picture, but if you know me... there's no getting out of this one.

TMI Tuesday... The Fart Edition:
1. Are your farts;
a. Silent but deadly
b. All sound, no fury
c. Loud and stinky

D. All the above... pending circumstances that lead up to it.

2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it.

Of course... Love me, love what my body does. Although I have to say I try to not just do it. There's no proclamation made, no "Brace yourself Effie..." But sometimes a sudden sneeze or cough will produce a cause & effect.

3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?

Have you ever owned a Boxer? They're great dogs and God's gift to those who would blame farts on others. Easy targets and I think sometimes smugly proud of their gaseous abilities.

4. What food triggers you?

Pizza, hands down. Most people carry Tums to combat the after affects of pizza or mexican food, I have an always handy supply of Phazyme in my backpack.

5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?



Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?

No. While it's all natural and you can't help having gas, I do TRY to get away from folks when I pass. Although, while on my last trip I did fart hard/loud enough to wake myself up.... I don't think it was heard by anyone else, but I'm sure the dog had a few choice thoughts on the topic.
Although, kindof along the same line, when I was growing up I could be in the den watching TV minding my own business and my brother would come running from the other end of the house having just stopped whatever he was doing so he could bend over and fart in my face. Ahh how I looked up to him.....


Renee said...

OMG, all your answers have me giggling like the silly girl I am!


Lea in SC said...

Chris, I can't believe you didn't throw in something about the fun to be had while farting on a (bare) waterbed!!

SeaRabbit said...

Nicely done!
Happy TMI!

Anonymous said...

You're lucky its only pizza, I have a vegan friend and SHE is deadly lol, Happy Tuesday!

Bunny said...

LOL @ your #5!!

As for your brother, I'll just say it's good to be the older sibling.

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

Ah, brothers. I'm so glad mine grew out of that by the time I was up and walking around. :)