Feisty Friday!

If you know me, you know that my train of thought can jump tracks, or change tracks to a tangential idea at the drop of a hat. Chris, over at Slap & Tickle, posted about new Valentine treats from a company that I've loved for years called Despair, Inc. They take the fun pessimistic view of anything that comes along. They have a line of "De-Motivation" posters in response to those annoying motivational posters that came out a decade or so ago.

It made me remember the fun I had when I first discovered Despair, Inc. And also made me remember how pissed off some of the folks were that actually loved those motivational posters. Since I was at a loss for what to post today, but knew I needed to since my luge accident on Wednesday had me home bound yesterday, I thought I'd just toss up something from Despair.

So feeling feisty as I do (nothing like being bedridden for a day to make you feisty when you can actually move again) I thought I'd take another stab at those people with the motivational posters.... I mean really.....

Chicago now has a luge team!

OK, so the "team" is actually me

without the sled

and the sliding on the ass was not intentional so I didn't look so much like the top picture as I looked like this guy

It snowed here in Chicago overnight and going to work wasn't any different than usual. I take a bus, hop a train and then one more bus and I'm there. This morning as I was going from the train to the bus, I went to step on a nice clean fluffy pile of snow to cross over to the bus.

That clean fluffy snow was hiding an ice sheet and the entry way into my first Chicago Luge run. The forward motion I had kept me going forward as my feet went out from under me. As I landed (clumsily, but it kept me from landing splat on my back) I kept sliding forward into what was under the nice clean fluffy snow which was about 2 weeks worth of bus dirt, salt and road grime.

When I stood up I didn't need a mirror to know what the entire back side of my body looked like.... I could feel it. Wet, ick, soaking through my hat, trickling down the back of my neck, soaking the back of my jeans so the stick to my legs, and to add insult to mild injury, my crotch was soaked from the splash as I luged forward.

There's a fair amount of walking on my daily commute.

Go throw some ice water down your pants and walk a mile in 12 degree weather and see how happy your badoobies are.

UGH!

I made it back to work by 10:10 so not too much time was lost, but now I just want to go back to bed and try this day over again. Better yet, skip this day and get on to Thursday and Friday.

And my badoobies are still cold.

Suddenly Shirley had that "not so fresh" feeling....

I was going to do TMI Tuesday, but I honestly couldn't remember the last movie I saw. So instead, I thought I'd pass on an image to brand into the back of your eyes. Thanks to cb for this that made me laugh so hard I snorted.

"How to tell when your butt stinks"

It was the 80's.... give me a break

I first saw this picture this morning around 8:30. it's taken me 2 hours of internal debating on whether to post it or not. Sweet Carolina Bunny (Your new southern name is now Bunny Sue by the way) tags every blog post with "To blog is a self invasion of privacy". I agree with that and see many different levels to the openness where some tell you very little and some invite you into their lives with reckless abandon censoring nothing. (ahem... :))

However, while this picture brings back many memories of the friends I had back in high school, I still feel a pain in my chest looking at it.

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT HAIR???

Good GOD! Thank God someone finally turned me on to conditioner and a better hair stylist.

Yeah, that's me... the dork in the hat. I'm just one Molly Ringwald away from being Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles. Sadly I think I'm closer to Molly Ringwald with that hat. "A boy in a hat is... so Vogue!"


Off topic from this post, but writing that last line made me remember a little story from college. When I was at Clemson I was at a party that a fellow bar staffers Alene was holding. One of her friends from her home town (Girl X) was visiting and this home town girl was dating Michael Anthony Hall. The little group conversation was about movies that started moving toward Oscars. This is, no lie, a snippet from the conversation.

Girl X: Oh the Oscars. I really wanted to get to go! Anthony got an invite since he was in (insert nameless movie here)

Alene: Is he not going to take you?

Girl X: We're not going at all. He said he wasn't going to attend the Oscars until he won one himself and now I'll never get to go!

I wish I had such a supportive partner like THAT!

I'm a bad Star Trek Fan

I enjoyed the original Star Treks when they first went into syndication when I was little. It was something different. It wasn't until Star Trek movie came out and The Next Generation first aired that I became a true fan.

Let's set something straight. I'm no 'Trek Geek'. I don't question plot points and harp on discrepancies. (well, there was one, but we'll talk about that later) For me, it was like any other show that you all watch and know the characters. The original series had plot points that, had they been a regular show with humans, the censors would have yanked it off the air. But in one episode Gene Roddenberry had Frank Gorsham (Batman's original Riddler) as an alien who was half stark white on the left side and half jet black on the right side and was the ruling part of his planet. There was species tension with those on his planet who were white on the right side and black on the left. On Star Trek you could get away with that, but on real TV you couldn't say the white people were rulers over the lesser blacks to make a point about equality among the races.

Gene Roddenberry saw the beginning of The Next Generation and infused his beliefs for the future into those and subsequent Trek ventures (Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise) All through these years, and other ventures of Roddenberry's, there was one major force that was behind him and often placed INTO his visions... his wife Majel Barrett. She was Nurse (then Doctor) Chapel, from the beginning of The Next Generation onward, she's always been the voice of any Starfleet computer, and she was Luwaxanna Troi on The Next Generation (which I think she secretly liked most... where else can you show your ass and be in character!?).

Back in 1998 I went to my one and only Star Trek Convention. I was living in Atlanta, it was at a hotel just 2 miles away and I saw that Majel Barrett was the guest speaker. Gene Roddenberry had passed away just a few years earlier and I thought she'd be interesting to talk to and BOY was I right. I walked in the hotel and while I appreciated the length that some fans go to, it still struck me a little comical to see all the folks dressed up. But she took them all in stride and was a fantastic speaker. Afterwards I was standing at the entrance of the room watching her speak to people as she was leaving and she caught my eye. While still talking, she started walking over toward me and said "My you're a tall one! How tall are you?" and then subsequently started up a conversation about me. I SO wanted to ask her more in depth questions, but had the feeling that she was tired of talking about herself and Gene and just wanted to shift focus for a little bit and I obliged her.

So it is with a pang of guilt that I find out today, January 23, 2009 that she passed away just over a month ago. I can't believe I didn't hear about it, but the feeling is the same. She was a very interesting lady who had the pleasure of a fantastic ride and of being a part of it. She did tell me she wouldn't have changed a bit of her time with Gene, otherwise she wouldn't have helped carry it on afterwards.

Majel, You will be missed. The ship's computers won't quite be the same.

A touching and emotional photograph

one can only say

Don't go away mad.... Just GO AWAY!

Havin' a heat wave, a tropical heat wave!

As temps glide above 35 for the first time since.... I can't remember when, (some) Chicagoans are taking the lighter scarves, shedding the gloves, able to walk down sidewalks easier (where the f'ers don't seem to be able to get their lazy asses out and shovel) and are thinking of Spring.

Some are rushing the season just a little too much though through their wishful thinking.


These Canadian Geese are sitting on a frozen pond in my office complex. I tried telling them it would be a while before it thawed. They didn't listen. They're Canadian....

Another special day this week!

Today is my good friend Stephen's birthday. His blog gave me the umph to start Project Christopher and he was also one of my best supporters and critics in stand up (and I was his too). While he hasn't broken the seal on his 40's yet, that crisis is coming soon. But I can say that Stephen, whether it's 29, 39 or 69 (hee hee) you wear it well baby!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU STEPHEN!!

OR (because some of you are still wondering)
Hippo birdie two ewe Stephen!

Are they SURPRISED???

George from Facebook showed me this video. The newscasters are saying "Bad form" etc.

I don't even want to go into what HE did that was bad form.

Brand New Day!

Here is where I'd normally post (repost) the YouTube video of "Brand New Day" from the Wiz, but for some reason the video has been pulled from YouTube (bastards! - how dare they cut me off from my being able to do feel good showtunes!) But you know the song and it fits today. It is a brand new day.

The Inauguration is over, the ball has been danced, the food has been eaten and excess taken to charities to feed the homeless. Now, today, Barrack begins getting out his big ass snow shovel that he had in Chicago and digging our country out from under the shite storm that Dubya let rain down on us.

I've never been a terribly political person, but the longer I've lived in Chicago, the more I've paid attention to what's going on around me. I'll be the first to admit that, while I'm not a single cause political mind, there is one issue that I tend to think of that is more defined by the parties than grand things that eventually fall on both parties. However, over the past 8 years. I've come to find myself being more watchful. It dawned on me that while I feel like I've been in Chicago a long time, I didn't have a sense of time for how long Bush was in his presidency. Bush was elected right after I moved to Chicago. So while my time in Chicago has been fantastic, it will be interesting to see how it will feel with a Chicagoan at the helm of the country.

Barack baby, you go get 'em!

And by the way Texas.....

you can have him back now.

DING DONG THE BASTARDS GONE!

No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush!

No more Fuckin DUBYA BUSH!!!!!

No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush! No More Bush!

Welcome to DC PRESIDENT OBAMA! We've been waiting for you...

From real animals to Balloon Animals

It's been one of those weeks....

Snowed under with work

Snowed under with a death close to home

Snowed under with.... well, snow

And I needed a good laugh. I ran across this on Facebook. Thanks Chad Ostland.

Anything to get safe sex out there is good, although this is getting some flack. To the flack givers, I'd like to introduce you to Mickey....
(he's gonna love this isn't he?!?!?)


Find more videos like this on AdGabber

Just about perfect.

My family bred boxers when I was growing up. When our first boxer Tink was getting along in her first pregnancy she started her nesting process by trying to find where she was going to give birth to the first of many. In my mom's bedroom there were two closets. The one that was my father's (who had passed several years before) was kind of a receptacle of old clothes that could to tossed on the floor of his closet and ultimately go to Goodwill. Mom noticed that Tink had taken to sleeping in the closet on the pile of clothes and realized what she was intending to do.

It was winter so we knew we wanted her to have the pups inside so one day Mom took the clothes out of the floor of Dad's closet, put them on the floor of her own closet and laid out several layers of newspaper on the floor of Dad's closet. We went out somewhere that evening and came back to find that Tink had taken the newspaper from Dad's closet, shredded it all to hell all around the bedroom, and pulled all the clothes from Mom's closet floor and put them back into Dad's closet and was on puppy #3 by the time we got home.

Who says dogs are dumb? They know... they know full well! They just don't act cocky about it like cats do.

A kinder note to Mother Nature

cb does enjoy giving some sass to Mother Nature. That' only pisses her off more because you have to be nice and ASK...

Memo
To: Mother Nature
From: ProjectChristopher
Date: January 9, 2009
Re: Winter Storm Timing

I see from the news that you're going to be testing several forms of winter storms on the Chicagoland area over the next week or so. I believe we are prepared with warmer clothes and will be visiting the crack Jewel for provisions just in case.

I wondered if I might make a request. It is quite pretty to see the manner in which you send your snow storms as the quiet of my street with the flakes flittering down is quite peaceful. I'm thankful to live on a side street to avoid the traffic. But, could you consider beginning the storms around 2am or 3am. Given that, we can avoid rush hour traffic problems and MAY even, if you like, get out of work if you snow just enough to keep folks home! That would be great as I could sit at my window drinking hot chocolate and truly appreciating your artistic weather wizardry.

Otherwise I'm stuck walking in muck, getting splashed by cars and buses and otherwise freezing my who-who's off while waiting for the Pace bus that goes 2 mph along with the 'deez,dem,doz' asshat who keeps yelling "Jesus Christ!" because the bus is not here at his beckon call.

Should you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me. Thank you for your help

Truly.... WTF?

So you've read my previous post about the year being off and running about where I went out with some friends and met a new friend who happens to be black and the post was mostly about positive race relations.

The first (and only so far) comment I've received, I chose not to actually approve, but instead, I'm going to post about it. And here it is in its entirety:

Lev. 18:22, 29 - God commands a man never to lie with a male as with a female, or he will be cut off.

This refers to supernatural death which is eternal separation from God. While the Old Covenant laws have been abrogated by the New Covenant, the Church has adopted their moral principles.

Thus, the moral prohibitions on homosexuality still apply in the New Covenant, as Peter, Paul and Jude demonstrate.

Lev. 20:13 - God says that if a man lies with another man, he shall be put to death. From the very beginning, God has revealed that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered, unhealthy, and mortally sinful.

------------

Just in case I missed something, I went back and read my post again and I'm pretty damn certain that I didn't say a single word about homosexuals.

So Mickey, of the blog Born Again, I ask with all due respect....

What the Fuck are you talking about?

The Bible also says women are chattle, multiple brides are OK, don't eat shrimp, and don't wear cotton and wool.

I grew up in Southern Baptist territory and I'm tired of getting beat over the head with a Bible and tired of retorting all the time. So I'll leave it up to you guys. If you'd like to go give Mickey a piece of your mind... have at it...

and check out the Jesus picture. Yikes!

And the new year is off and running!

I hope everyone had a nice New Year's weekend. To anyone who had New Year's Day off, but had to work Friday... sucks to be you! Working for an Association may not pay the best salary in the industry, but we get every holiday off possible.

I hadn't planned to celebrate New Year's eve in any special way, but at 11:30 a friend called (and woke me up sadly) and talked me into getting together to see the new year in. I'm glad I did since sometimes I just have to be forced out of my hermit cave and rarely regret having given up that time by myself that would have otherwise been spent asleep or entertaining myself by myself... :)

Through this friend I met a new friend who I took an instant liking to. He was funny and quick witted, had a good humored smart ass sense of humor like myself and also like myself, he pulled the most obscure movie/TV quotes and references out of the air.

One of the things I enjoyed most was talking about race issues with him since he's black. Note I didn't say African American because he would whap me on the head if I had. He says he's just American and that's good enough. While not everyone would share his ease of comfort on racial joking, I thought it was admirable that his view on racism when it comes to racial jokes is, if its said in humor, it's just humor and words. It is the threatening views that hurt or bar people from living their life to their ability that cause damage.

Several black comedians have perfected their ability to make racial issues part of their sets. They're never mean, but what they say is true in a comic sense and I think the more we can show uncomfortable issues in an open forum where it's ok to find the humor, the more that unease will lessen over time. One of my favorite comedians is Katt Williams. I'm usually in physical pain after watching his concerts, but it's pain well worth the enjoyment.

After talking with my new friend this weekend, I thought about this portion of Katt Williams' HBO special and wanted to share.