It was bound to happen... (TMI Tuesday)

I think I'm more surprised at the fact I'm surprised at today's TMI Tuesday subject than I actually am of the subject matter.

Funny how I kindof feel that THIS topic feels more taboo than most I've seen so far. I would try to toss up my "Pleading the 5th" picture, but if you know me... there's no getting out of this one.

TMI Tuesday... The Fart Edition:

1. Are your farts;

a. Silent but deadly

b. All sound, no fury

c. Loud and stinky

D. All the above... pending circumstances that lead up to it.

2. Have you ever farted in front of a lover? Who was the 1st one to do it? How did they or you handle it.

Of course... Love me, love what my body does. Although I have to say I try to not just do it. There's no proclamation made, no "Brace yourself Effie..." But sometimes a sudden sneeze or cough will produce a cause & effect.

3. Have you ever farted and tried to blame someone else? Who and did you get away with it?

Have you ever owned a Boxer? They're great dogs and God's gift to those who would blame farts on others. Easy targets and I think sometimes smugly proud of their gaseous abilities.

4. What food triggers you?

Pizza, hands down. Most people carry Tums to combat the after affects of pizza or mexican food, I have an always handy supply of Phazyme in my backpack.

5. Varts (Vaginal Farts) Scary, or an indication of a good time being had by all?

uhhhhh.....

uhhhhhh.......

Bonus (as in optional): When you do fart with someone in your bed, do you cover their head with the sheet and hold them under?

No. While it's all natural and you can't help having gas, I do TRY to get away from folks when I pass. Although, while on my last trip I did fart hard/loud enough to wake myself up.... I don't think it was heard by anyone else, but I'm sure the dog had a few choice thoughts on the topic.

Although, kindof along the same line, when I was growing up I could be in the den watching TV minding my own business and my brother would come running from the other end of the house having just stopped whatever he was doing so he could bend over and fart in my face. Ahh how I looked up to him.....

I second that....

cb posted this on his blog, but wasn't able to embed. I think I have it working so cb, if you don't mind, I'm going to co-post this great video with you.

14 months in the making

42 countries

and a cast of thousands

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

"Do the Jitterbug...snap....snap"

While I'm waxing nostalgic on a very tardy TMI Tuesday, the above referenced Jitterbug does not mean the 20's dance. This week's TMI Tuesday takes me back to High School and (sadly) the song that seems to jump in my mind like a VH1 Pop Up Video bloop is Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!

1. What were you known as in HS (Jock, Princess, Geek)

Band Geek. Or if you were around George Jockofsmallpeepee it was Band Fag. (Really George... we all had gym together... we can see where your bravado was overcompensating...)

2. What were you really?

Band Geek I guess. I never had one of those tight night groups of friends that you did everything with. I had friends in this group and friends in that group.

3. If you could go back and tell your 16 year old self one thing, what would it be?

Oh God... what WOULDN'T I tell my 16 year old self. Three key things I think would be "All that crap doesn't matter in 3 years" "Study!" (while pointing me in the right direction toward a career) and "Eat better!"

4. If you could erase one moment from your school days what would it be?

I could never whittle it down to one. Not anything terrible, just embarrassing. Like when I pushed myself back from the lunch table not thinking that our table was on the lunch room stage and my back was to the "audience" area so my chair slipped over the edge and I found out I could actually tumble from one level onto another lunch table.

5. Who did you not date (or more) that you wish you did?

There wasn't anyone that fell into this direction (not date, wishing I had) but there were plenty... well, all that fell the opposite direction. I didn't date much at all, I was the wallflower.

Bonus (as in optional): If you went to prom, describe your outfit.

Now, having said that I didn't date that much, it still strikes me funny how many times I went to the prom. (five times) I went to my own Jr then Sr. then went as "friend dates" to the following three. My first tux.... what the F*#% was I thinking.... it was almost as heinous as my date. I'll describe it in three words and I bet you recoil, make that sneer face and go "Ewww...."

White with tails.

After that, it was basic black with the tie/cumber bun to match whatever my date was wearing.

Given that my blog title referenced Wake Me Up...., I was going to put the video as a sign off and a shout out to my butterfly shag (the dance) teammate Lea in SC, but it seems George Michael doesn't want that video posted anywhere (they're all restricted from embedding). So I went to the next "obviously Lea" song and found this which also gives props to my mother who was a Solid Gold Junkie!

Check it Mom.. Darcell still has that horse's tail hair!

I'm leavin' on a jet plane.. again and again and again

I must say that while I still love my job, I've never been busier in my life! It's hard to be THE meetings department instead of one of many. Wow....

To that end this week has me on the following flight schedule:

Tuesday 8:30am flying to Orlando, FL

Tuesday 9:30pm flying to Miami, FL for site visits the following day

Wednesday 5:25pm flying back to Chicago

Thursday 8:50pm flying to LAX

Friday driving down to San Diego

Monday 5:50pm flying back to Chicago

Given this crazy week ahead, I may be absent from the blogging scene so bear with me if you don't see me active for a bit. Now if I can figure out how to blog on my new Blackjack phone I had to buy when my last one crapped out on me... I'll be in business!

Have a good week!

What did I ever do to Kohl's?

After reading the previous post of the headlines, good friend insanelybusy told me of finding this sign grouping with her daughter when visiting a town (Anderson) near where I grew up. Their dialogue was as follows:

I don't like Kohl's anymore!
Why not?
Because.....

Stupid is as Stupid does...

Thanks to Lea in SC for sending the following headlines showing that you shouldn't feel bad if you're stupid... you're far from alone!

Let's start with Lea's favorite: (edited Naf Naf!)

Future NRA President?

Well, I've always thought many lawyers could sue anyone, anywhere, anytime for any reason

This reminds me of the movie "Dave" where he debates spending $XX million on a campaign to bolster confidence in Americans who have purchased American cars... paying to make them feel better for something they've already done.... way to go!

I have a feeling that Geraldo will be covering the excavation site LIVE!

Being a Meeting Planner... I understand the idiocy of some meetings

"We had no idea anyone was buried there"... In a mausoleum? Really?

Those Utah folks don't miss anything do they?

Your tax dollars at work!

Those damn 22 year olds.... They've always been the bain of teenage pregnancy!

I've known quite a few industrious Puerto Ricans, but wow... she's a busy girl!

Think he smacks his ass when he applauds??

Let me brush my teeth..what the?!?!

This banner ad was up when I visited SueBob over at Red Stapler. I like that they're showing how easy touching up those roots can be but if it's:

A. Morning - when you're most sleepy

B. Rush - you're in a hurry

Do you want to put a brush with color on it in the same glass as the brush you're going to insert into your mouth?

You'd feel a difference immediately I'm sure.. but half your teeth would be brown until your roots grew out.