I just can't HELP MYSELF!!!

Texts From Last Night.

let me shorten that

Word Cocaine

I can't get enough and I can't stop reading it once I start. I've had to start clamping my hand over my mouth so I won't laugh out loud and clue in the rest of the office that I'm SO not working.

My favorites today:

(240): Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.

(540): I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.

(561): I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

and finally because, with the exception of Ferngully, kindof reminds me of myself and some movies and moods I'm in when in a couch movie marathon:

(515): Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
(712): Oh God
(515): I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship