CAPTION CONTEST!

So there really is a story behind this picture. I do realize that no story will eradicate the appearance of me in the picture.

I was sitting in Starbucks and just before we were getting up to leave, I did one of those stretch/yawns where your hands go up over your head, you yawn, and as your yawn breaks voice, your arms start coming down beside you. (just go with me) When my hands came down my right hand's knuckles hit the table next to us so I recoiled my hand at the same time I looked in that direction in the middle of a yawn.

NOW... your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come up with the best caption for the picture below and post it in the comments section of this posting. (there could be a little prize for the winner!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Birthday's have always been big to me. Special holidays are nice because they're for everyone, but your birthday... that's the day that YOU'RE special. One company that I used to work for, while being stupid beyond belief on many things, thought the same because in addition to your standard holidays and paid time off you also got your birthday as a holiday.

My brother sent me the picture above. The picture is titled Dogzilla's Birthday wishes and stars my "niece" Lilly. Lilly is a SWEETHEART of a dog but she can tear up a city when she sets her mind to playing around :) It's very fitting and I do hope as a birthday present she'll let the Seattle Space needle stand. I did kindof like that attraction :)

I had asked the folks over at TMI Tuesday if I could write a special birthday edition of TMI Tuesday since it fell today, but I didn't hear back. They've also not posted today's list as of 10:30CST so there could be more posted today.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes so far! (By the way I'm 42 :) )

I'm easily amused...

I work in a cubicle right now that's in a high traffic area as well as being by one of the more popular offices (my boss) I work with those people who can annoy the pee out of you because they have their own office they can retreat to, but feel that since you're out in the open of a cubicle they should stop and talk inanely to you whenever they pass by.

One in particular, at heart a very nice guy, makes me cringe when I see him because I know I'm about to be transported to drivel-land. Today he was coming out of the popular office and I KNEW he was heading my way. I figured if I looked engrossed in typing, he'd leave me alone. While I didn't have anything actual to try to type, I just started free-form typing. I'm a good typist so the keystrokes were coming like a semiautomatic weapon. Once he left (it worked!) I looked through what I had written and had a good laugh. I thought I'd share because this is part of what makes blogs so fun!

What you read below was typed with no stopping or pausing in about 3 or so minutes.


Oh god, here it comes, he’s going to come say something to me and it’s going to annoy the piss out of me with his OK…. OK…. OK….OK but anyway, if there’s a way that I can avoid having to do the annoying small talk with him I will do it. Short of saying, get the fuuuuuuq out of my face dumbass you’re just too annoying to make small talk with. But that’s not my southern way. I can’t do it because my mom would come back from the grave and smack me upside the head. Lord, I’m running out of free form thought to make myself look busy and he’s going to take the silence of the typing to mean that I can talk. Oh god, don’t let him hover. It wouldn’t be so bad if Cindy didn’t keep pulling him back into her office to talk more. Let him go. I think if we counted how many times he loosed the OK as a means of ending the conversation. If it actually worked it would be great, but it seems it’s either just filler or he feels he has to get the last word in or respond to anything I say. You’re a dumb ass OK, you’re but fucking ugly, OK, go jump off a cliff OK, eat shit and go sit in the middle east OK. PLEASE let him go. Stop talking, both of you. I’m going to get caught and I’m gonna be pissed! Jeez he won’t stop. How long can I possibly keep this going. I’m thankful I took typing in high school so I’m not really playing hunt and peck and I do sound like a real typist. But as I look up there are a few red lines showing misspellings. However, I see it’s words that wouldn’t be recognized like dumbass or fuuuuuq. Good lord if he doesn’t go soon I’m going to have to talk and I can’t get past them and walk away from my desk yet. I can’t wait to get to my new job. Each day that passes since I took the new position just brings me item after item that I’m so NOT going to miss when I leave here. Mr. OK is one. Our “HR professional” who couldn’t find his ass with BOTH hands is another. Speaking of talking incessantly.. this guy is so “good ole boy” it makes me want to puke. But if his wanker is as flaccid and useless as he is I’m surprised he was able to sire 2 children. Uh oh OK man is about to turn out toward my desk, look at the paper look at the paper, go away go away don’t stop here, sip your stupid pressed coffee and move on before I have to take the few twizzlers I have on my desk and beat you senseless with them. Wouldn’t that be a funny commercial, no guess not, but if it was him we were beating away from my desk I would be able to giggle for a while from it. Please go, go go go go go. I’m so tired of bracing myself and then he leans against the door frame again. I’m sure my boss would like for him to go too but they’re talking science nerd shit so they’ll be there a long ass while. Please just go. Oh that was a great thing to say brainiac, he’d rather get hit by a car than a train. Actually I’d rather be hit by a pillow safely on my couch, thank god he’s gone.

Get Fudge? I don't care for it, too sweet, rots your teeth!

Bear with me on this one....
Today a good friend of mine, Henry, lost his mother to cancer. I found out about his mother having cancer not long after losing my own mother to cancer. As my friend's journey with him mom took turns for the worse it made me ache for knowing where he was and and where he was headed.
It made me think of others I know who lost their battles with cancer. One of them stood out and prompted this blog. Gilda Radner was one of the funniest women I've ever seen in my life! She was one of the people who, while not inspiring me straight into stand up comedy, she goaded me on into being the clown and enjoying getting a laugh and making my stage wherever I was.
Henry, I don't know if your mom knew Gilda Radner or her character Emily Litella (who was my favorite of her repertoire)but I know your mom loved to smile and laugh just like my mom. So while our mom's are getting acquainted up in heaven, this clip goes out to them. (I think my mom was partial to Rosanne Rosanadana, but it's my blog! She'll get her fave on Mother's day :) )

At LOOONG Last!

Let's just cut to the chase.

INDIANA JONES BABY!



When the first Indiana Jones movie came out was during a gentler time when movie theaters didn't chase you out between movies. If you missed the beginning of the movie, you could stay through the opening of the next one and catch yourself up!

I remember one Saturday my mom told me she was going to be doing what I still refer to as THE BIG house clean. Not straightening up but starting at one end of the house and top to bottom clean, scrub, vacuum, etc. and do the entire house to the point that if you were lucky, you had enough energy to take your clothes off before bed that night. Anyway, THE BIG clean was about to happen and my mom, in her ever-so-gentle and loving way told me I had to GET OUT... and what would I like to do to pass the time? I had her take me to the Astro III cinema in Clemson (back when it was only one screen and a big one at that, now it's 3 screens. One new-ish large screen and 2 - 5x7 type screens you get when you chop a normal theater in two). I got there in time for the 11am show and stayed there until the 9pm show was over.

I watched Indy flip the sand bag, run from the boulder, yell "I HATE SNAKES", laugh rather sickly as he saw the German Hulk Hogan turn into a spinning plane propeller, get buried in the tomb, get smacked with the mirror as Karen Allen admired herself in the nightgown, yell "KEEP YOUR EYES SHUT!" and bitch about Washington DC bureaucracy over and over and over again.

And I'd do it again too...

I will admit (sorry Indy) the second movie sucked in my eyes. It's a wonder, but also a miracle, that there was a third. It's hard to say, but the third movie is probably my favorite of the three. While the chemistry between Sean Connery and Harrison Ford just made for an extremely enjoyable movie it lacked something that the first movie did for me. The first movie held the fascination and initial WOW factor that the others couldn't recreate. It is much like the fascination that the original Star Wars had for me that the following movies could not copy. Granted, much of that was the age I was when it was presented to me. Still, the original Star Wars is my favorite (that's the one WITHOUT all the touch ups that they re-released the movies with. They were OK, but just one step below Jar Jar Binks annoying)

Indy (or better yet, Harrison) KUDOS on continuing a sequel years after and making it work. If this movie has the class of the first three then you've hit it right. At least we know it will have more class than Rocky 31.

What a mess

Once when my mom came to visit me in Chicago I took her to my office to show her where I worked. (She had never been to Chicago and was the ever proud mother doting on my "making it") When I said "and here's my desk" she got this look on her face like she didn't believe me. I had always told her how clean and uncluttered I keep my desk at work. She was doubtful of this as my room at her home and usually my apartment were always in some form of disarray.
I just can't work in a cluttered environment. I always take pains to keep my desk clean so that I don't get flustered or confused with what's going on.
I know many folks (even some that I work with currently) will guffaw at this picture and statement thinking that it's not that bad, but I had to stop my working today and JUST CLEAN UP! For me, this is just unacceptable. OK, maybe if I stopped blogging and straightened up a bit I'd be better....

What Time Is It? It's TMI TUESDAY!

It's TMI Tuesday folks and it looks like it's a very special Valentine's Day version (not to be confused with a Very Special Blossom //Tonight's episode, Joey gets gang raped by the Krips AND Bloods for saying that inane "WHOA" one too many F'ing times!/)

Anwyay, Valentine's Day is something I'm growing OK with but I must admit that in the past.. I just detest it. It is SUCH a hallmark holiday. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad that the simple dolts who are unimaginative are forced at least once a year to show that there is romance in there somewhere even if it is unimaginative (the commercials tell them EXACTLY what to do) But as for me, I don't think you should wait until some cold day in February to profess your love through a romantic gesture. If you truly love someone then that romantic gesture should be there each week of each month of each year. It should be unexpected, not forced.

OK, my big ole Debbie Downer of a Valentines soap box is over with the caveat that I actually do appreciate Valentine's Day in spirit so it is with that spirit that I get back to the TMI Tuesday!

1. What's the sexiest gesture a person you are sexually interested in can make?
If it's an intimate gesture we're talking about it's sliding their hand into mine or if we're sitting, say, in a movie, holding my hand and carressing their fingers on the palm of my hand. If it's an overtly sexual gesture... hmmm... setting up the sling before I get out of the bathroom?

2. What are 3 inevitable things about you?
- I will be early if not on time, if I'm late, I'm going to be PISSED!
- If an 80's tune comes on I'm going to do one or all of the following: Be transported back to high school or college, start be-bopping around, or send an email/text to my high school friend Lea stating the song and the memory it evoked.

3. How many types of orgasms have you experienced?
This must be a chick question as for guys it seems there's 2 types of orgasm. Either I did or I didn't. I think it only varies in intensity for me. I have heard of another type, but that's a WHOLE different post that some of my readers aren't ready for.

4. What asset do you have besides the physical and the material?
Well crap.. I don't even have those so I'm starting out behind the 8 ball already! I would say I have the emotional asset in that I'm romantic and the spiritual asset in that I'm devoted.

5. what do you want . . . . now?
Not a romantic answer, but what I want, NOW is a job offer. Landing in one of the jobs that I'm working on would be a huge help in getting the other things I want.

Bonus (as in optional):describe a sexy mind. Adventurous, caring, and romantic without being a sap.